


The Hunted

by Mystic_Ender



Series: One, Two, Three [2]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/F, Hunger Games-Typical Death/Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 44,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27637801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Ender/pseuds/Mystic_Ender
Summary: **EDITED**She supposed she should have known better than think she would catch a break.Because, after all, when had life ever been merciful towards her? When had it stopped making her feel like she was running from everything and nothing? Never. It always went on and on, feeling like she was hunted down like the monster she now was.She supposed she deserved what came for her.
Relationships: Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)/Original Male Character(s)
Series: One, Two, Three [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013622
Comments: 29
Kudos: 6
Collections: The Hiraeth Timeline





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Book Two, here we are!!
> 
> This was definitely one of the two I was most excited to write, and I hope you guys enjoy it just as much as I did writing it! This is definitely the one where a lot more things change, so... enjoy!

The world was cold.

Strong winds that felt like the last breaths of the dead, snowflakes that fell like the tears of the mourning when it touched your skin and melted under a second. Dead trees that stood tall like silent graves, waiting for warmer times to come around with a patience saints could admire. Animals slept, hoping to go through the winter with little to no problem, though some braver ones, ones that had changed to adapt to such weather, ran around and tried to find what they could possibly eat to keep alive. The forest felt silent because of it, the only sound being your boots on the snow and the rare bird that flew around, chirping a soft melody that felt really out of place in this dead landscape.

She felt out of place as she sat there, a thermos filled with warm tea. The smell of orange that came from it was comforting, making her feel a little more alive even if she felt like part of the painting that stretched around her. She was procrastinating going to look at the traps she had set, she was procrastinating having to go back. Her victory tour was supposed to start today, and she was not looking forward to it in any way. She would need to go back to pretending to be in love with her best friend, she would need to go back to literally fucking kissing him, and it would be extremely awkward with Gabe around considering him and Lukas were dating now.

Well, they had been since the train anyway. She had been stuck that whole ride watching them be extremely fucking gay, she had been stuck feeling like a third wheel already. Her two best friends were dating now, and she was happy for them, but surely they could have kept the fucking making out to their rooms. Surely they could have done that. But, despite that complaining on her part, she was happy for them. She truly was. Gabe had become a little happier, though it had quickly gone away as the Victory Tour neared. She supposed it made sense, even if it broke her and Lukas’s heart a little to see him close himself off again. Those were memories he didn’t want, those were memories none of them wanted. The Tour was always a reminder that they had killed, becoming predators when they didn’t want to be.

Eventually, she sniffed and closed her thermos again, and grabbed her bag to make the tour of the traps. She had some rabbits, two squirrels, and… a fucking beaver for some damn reason. She didn’t complain, though. It was extra meat for the family she had decided to take care of, along with her own. She knew that Faith would work wonders with the beaver, that she would easily feed her small family with it.

Faith was Reyna’s mother. Reyna, sweet Reyna, who had taken tesserae when she was fourteen to help her starving family, and who because of it, had been picked for the Games. It had been one name too much in the urn, and Catherine had watched her first crush be sent there and die of the same thing she had tried saving her family from. Hunger was merciless, and it took from the less weary. Catherine after that had sworn to herself that she would help Reyna’s family how she could. She became friends with Faith, and when she caught more meat than she would need when hunting with Gabe, she always gave it to Faith first to feed her family. When Reyna’s younger sister, Violet, was old enough, Catherine had started taking her and Marcus to the forest so that they would both learn how to hunt just in case something happened to her.

“Thought you could work with that,” Cath said simply, handing over the fat beaver to the dark-haired woman. Faith’s dark curls were her pride and joy, and despite how poor her family became, she always tried to keep it in a good state. Which, was why it was currently pinned on top of her head, as to not ruin it while she worked relentlessly. “And, the fur’s intact.”

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” The woman laughed a little looking over the animal, before stocking it away. She was smiling, though. While those words were automatic by now, Cath knew how grateful the woman was for the help she got. A small family was hard to feed, in District Twelve, and the moment you had a somewhat stable source of food, stress always lifted from your shoulders. Cath knew and understood that. “But thank you.”

“When has that stopped me?” She lifted a brow, smirking a little as she crossed her arms. She looked a little around Faith’s humble home before her gaze stopped on a picture. It was the last picture of Reyna in the entire home. She must have been thirteen, standing there with her baby sister in her arms and her other younger one holding one of her hands as her mother took the picture. She was smiling, and despite how much time had passed, Cath missed that smile a little. It had been a source of sunshine in those shitty times. “I’m gonna take Violet out hunting again once I’m back from the Tour. You mind warning her?”

“Of course not.” The mother assured, before bringing Cath in a quick hug. It was a quick goodbye, not unlike those hugs she had received before she was sent to the Games. This was the hug of a woman who knew she would be seeing Catherine again, no matter the time it took. “Be careful out there, sweetheart. Take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

Her next stop was the Hob. The District Twelve’s very own Black Market. The only reason she stopped anymore was to spread her money around to the people who had helped her, debt being the only reason she was doing it anymore. That, and she needed to buy some alcohol for Gabe. She didn’t drink it herself anymore, the fear of starting and never being able to stop making her freeze every time she was offered some, but… she knew it was some sort of crutch, for him, so despite how reluctant she was to encourage this... she brought him a bottle from time to time. She remembered what it had been like the last time he had been short on alcohol. Ripper certainly enjoyed the business, anyway.

“That’s too strong for you, dear.” The voice of a familiar Peacekeeper commented, watching her buy the alcohol with a worried frown. Catherine had never remembered his name, but she knew his reputation. He was nice enough, she supposed, compared to the rest of them. He was one of the only ones she could tolerate talking to, despite his annoying tendency to call her ‘dear.’ He eyed the bottle in her hands, and obviously he knew what he was talking about. He was one of the worst drunks in town. 

“That ain’t for me,” Catherine defended, sounding a little ticked off as she glared at the Peacekeeper out of her eye. She should really remember his damn name. Especially considering he was… somewhat decent with her. He could be acting worse. After all, she had seen the Peacekeepers act worse. She preferred this to whatever punishment she could be getting for buying black market alcohol. “It’s for my Dad. He needs it for remedies. Shit’s strong enough to disinfect whatever the fuck he needs.”

“I suppose so.” He hummed, and soon after, dropped his own money on the counter, having already forgotten about her. He was probably drunk off his ass already, she thought, as she passed by him. The familiar smell that came with the alcohol was wafting off the guy like bad perfume, and she almost coughed at the strength of it. But, she kept moving.

She kept moving through the town, humming to herself as the snow fell around her. Winter had once been her favorite season when she was a child. She had enjoyed it greatly, her mother telling her stories of how winter was the last step before life began again. How, despite how much of an ending it felt, it was only a beginning. A beginning to something new. The snow was an announcement of that, and she had grown fond of it. But… when her mother died, the winter had become a little bit dull. It was worse now after the Games. Winter announced death, and… she was not fond of death. She hadn’t been before, but now it was worse.

The Victors’ Village brought two types of feelings in her. The first was sadness. Sadness as she looked at the empty houses, knowing that there were high chances they would never be lived in. That there would be so much death before another person started living in another one. It was sadness that came with mourning, mourning that she technically didn’t need to do but now that she knew what the Games were truly like, she felt like she had to. The second was happiness. Happiness that her family was safe, and so was Lukas’s. Gabe, in his case, lived alone in his own home, having pretty much told Cindy to live with Cath and her family. Not that she minded, of course, she loved having Cindy around, but… some part of her wondered if her best friend wouldn’t be happier with his sister around.

She walked up to Gabe’s house and pounded her fist on the door harshly, hoping to give him a fair warning before opening the door and marching her way inside his house. The inside was a mess, and it had been for the past few weeks as his mood gradually became worse and worse. It wasn’t pretty to see, and the smell almost made it worse. How the fuck he was able to live in here, she had no fucking clue. She seriously wondered how he hadn’t died from something he had caught from his own fucking mess. Some kind of damn sickness they had never heard of. It was that fucking messy.

“Wake up, dipshit!” She called through the home as she walked her way to the kitchen, and she quickly stepped out of the way when something came flying for her. The knife got stuck deep into the wall beside her head, and she looked at it in an almost uninterested way as she lifted a brow. She seemed neutral, but fear had pumped through her veins. God damn, she had thought she had given enough of a warning. Maybe she should have gone a bit softer. “Well, nice fucking try, but your aim was a little off.”

“Catherine, what the fuck-” Gabe groaned as he woke up. He sounded a little bit horrified with himself, though also really irritated. Not that she blamed him. This was certainly not the best way to wake up. The table he had been laying on had a few empty bottles on it, and her face fell as she slowly cleaned them up a little. She put them in a corner to take them out later, and the one that she had in hand, the one she had recently bought, she put in one of the empty cupboards. He stared at her for a little while, before shaking his head. “..What the hell are you even doing here anyway?”

“...Tour’s today.” She said simply, with a light shrug. She opened the window and leaned against it, crossing her arms. She knew that Lukas would be coming around soon. They had given each other a time to meet up after all. She would need to be home soon to start preparing, but she at least wanted to make sure Gabe would be ready soon. Journalists were coming soon, and as much as she loved him, having him drunk off his ass and absolutely disgusting would not help their case. Lukas's, Gabe's, or her's. They needed to look... somewhat stable. “Wanted to make sure you would be decent for the journalists and all. They’re coming in… about an hour.”

“And did you have to barge in like that-”

“No, but I fucking know you.” She cut him off with her only defense. Sure, she could have been a bit… softer with her wake-up call, but she could have been harsher too. She had given him a warning by pounding on his door loud enough that he would probably have woken up as she did, but apparently, the alcohol had knocked him out. Hard. “I doubt you'd like to be fucking disgusting on camera. Just... get ready. Don't drink before the train or I'm beating your ass."

“Fine. Okay.” Was his only answer, and nothing else was said. The silence stretched for a little while, both of them having nothing to add to that. She knew that he probably would have drunk had she not given that warning, and she had a feeling he would anyway. It irritated her a little, but she couldn't exactly stop him. He had chosen to self-medicate, to forget in whatever way he could. The least she could do was try and stop him from getting alcohol poisoning.

Lukas arrived soon after that. He had brought food, and thank fucking God for that, because… Gabe had nothing in his pantry at the moment. Not that it mattered now, considering they would be eating on the train and at the other Districts once the tour truly started. She stayed for a little while, but… she decided to give the two of them a little privacy. Especially with the fucking looks they were giving each other.

“Make sure, he’s decent, asshole.” She greeted, slowly making her way towards the door with her hands in her pockets. A smirk was pulling at her lips, amusement twinkling in her eyes.. “I’ll see you later. Not looking forward to kissing you. You kiss like shit.”

“Oh fuck you, you’re not any better.” He flipped her off, though he was obviously just as amused. “You better be decent, too.”

“I’m not gonna be running outside fucking naked if that’s what you meant!” She laughed out as she left. 

She didn’t expect anything to go wrong.

She had expected to enter her home to her father’s smile, to her little brother whining as he helped Charles with whatever he needed, and maybe Cindy coming to ask her how her brother was doing. She hadn’t expected to come home, to the three of them looking stressed out of their mind as an unknown man stood there, expression cold and closed off.

She hadn’t expected to be dragged to another room, where a familiar man sat in the chair of the office, looking like he belonged.

She hadn’t expected to see the President in her home.


	2. Part Two

_“I have a problem, Miss Harrison.” President Snow looked mostly unbothered as he looked at Catherine with his cold eyes, so unnervingly cold that it made her want to shiver in her seat. “A problem that goes back to when you took out those poisoned berries from your bag back in that arena.”_

She laid in her bath, her head tilted back as she stared at the ceiling. The flower petals moved around her lazily, caressing her skin softly when they floated away as if in reassurance, before moving away seconds after. Her eyes were unfocused, the paintings that decorated the ceilings blurry.

_“If the High Judge Quintus Ambrose had even a little brain, he would have killed you on the spot. Sadly, he was just a horrible sentimental. Which is why you’re here right now. And him… do you know where he is now?” Snow asked casually. He made it sounds as if it was casual afternoon talk, when it clearly wasn't._

_Catherine could remember nodding her head, if only for him to move on. She had a horrible feeling that she knew exactly what had happened, but she didn’t especially feel like having it confirmed. She didn’t exactly feel like having another crushing guilt on her shoulders, so she went with her assumptions._

_“After that, there wasn’t much that could be done other than let you play your comedy until the end. You were great in your teenager in love role, I must say. The people of the Capitol adored it. Though, not all the people of the other districts fell for it.” Snow tilted his head a little and smiled when he saw her expression. The smile of someone who knew something the other did not. It irritated Catherine to no end, but she couldn’t say anything about it. “You don’t know, of course. You are ignorant of what the other districts are saying. They see your little trick with the berries like a provocation, and not like a love declaration. If a little girl from District Twelve dares defy the Capitol with little to no shame, why would they stop themselves? What would stop them from starting, let’s say… a rebellion?”_

She could remember the shock that had struck her when she had heard that. She could remember the sweet smell of the rose, she could remember the smell of blood that wafted from President Snow. She could remember every small detail, details she did not want to remember. She could remember him speaking after that, speaking words as if they were sincere. He sounded like he wanted what was best for Panem, but even she knew that was a lie. She could remember the harsh words she had spat at his face, a wave of boiling anger making her see red. She had learned to control it a little better, but at that moment… she was angry. So angry that this man, this man that allowed children to be sent in an arena to die, dared to say he cared for the population. If he truly cared, would he make the Games keep going? Would he allow Districts to starve? Would he allow pain to be a regular thing in the poorer Districts? No. A man that truly cared would find solutions. 

She passed her wet hands through her hair harshly and tugged.

President Snow did not. care.

And that fact showed in the words that had followed.

He had pretended to be sweet and kind to Cindy, sweet Cindy, who had brought them tea. Who had looked at her in worry, wondering if she had done something wrong. She smiled at the girl, trying to make it seem as if everything was fine. It wasn’t. But she would be damned if she burdened this girl more than she had been in her life. She had watched her brother go in an arena and fight to the death, and she had watched her do the same. Cath would be damned if she let Cindy suffer through more than she already had.

_“I didn't intend to start something like this, sir." Her last word was bitter as if it was poison in her mouth to say. The only thing it did was make President Snow smile. Apparently, he found her anger amusing. It only made her even more irritated than she was before._

_“I believe you. But… it doesn’t matter. Your stylist was right with your wardrobe choice. Catherine Harrison… the Girl on Fire. You are the spark that if we don’t keep an eye on, will set Panem ablaze.”_

_“Why not kill me, then? It would be easier, wouldn't it?”_

_“Publicly? It would only make things worse.”_

_“You could make it seem like a stupid accident.”_

_“Come on now, who would buy such a thing?” He laughed as if it was the funniest thing he had heard recently. “Certainly not you, if you were in front of your TV.”_

_“...What am I even supposed to do, then?”_

_“Make your love believable.” He finished his tea soon after that, and slowly pushed a photo towards her. She picked it up with shaking hands, and all she felt was horror. her two best friends were kissing on the picture, and her head snapped up back at Snow, who only smiled. "Because something can... definitely be arranged."_

She ducked her head under the water harshly, to try and bring herself back to reality. How had he known? Her and Lukas had been careful to keep pretending, if only by taking walks around the city arm in arm and trying to look in love. They had done little things, little things normal couples would do. Granted, for them, those moments had become genuine moments between friends. It was in those moments that she learned more about her friend, things she hadn’t learned in that arena. Things that she couldn’t have learned in the arena. She learned about what his brothers were like, she learned of his interests, and she learned what ‘talent’ he had picked. He had taken to painting, and somehow, she wasn’t surprised. This was the man that had camouflaged himself expertly, this was the man that had a serious talent with icing cakes out of all things. Not something she would associate with him, considering the dumb shit they had tended to get themselves in, but… here they were.

She could still smell the blood and the rose. No matter how long she stayed in the water, almost drowning herself, the smell was still there. No matter how much perfume was in the bathroom, no matter how much it smelled like oranges and cinnamon, she could still smell the too sweet rose and the metallic smell that came with blood. She wanted to throw up, when she emerged out from the water, coughing and her hair sticking to her cheeks. It felt like it would be a smell that haunted her dreams, now. She knew that it would be a smell that stuck around no matter how much she didn’t want it.

She got out soon after that, tying her bathrobe tight around herself. She would have stayed longer in the water, the calmness of it reassuring, but she knew that she couldn’t. The three colorful crows that were Venia, Octavia, and Flavius would be coming around soon and she couldn’t stay in there too long. She wished she could still go to the lake and swim, but the winter made it impossible to do so. Maybe she would go in the summer. Alone, with time for herself. She would have the time to swim for as long as she wanted, just her and her thoughts. Maybe she would allow herself to cry as much as she wants, without being scared of the pity that she would gain from others.

Because yes, she had barely cried in the last few months.

Not that she didn’t want to, but she had brought up the strong façade. She had to pretend to be as she had been before, or as close to it as she could, for her sake and her family's. She wanted to pretend she was still fine, and she didn't want her family to see her ruined. She had always been strong, she had always stood tall, so she pulled her best game of pretending, just like in the arena. She did her best to muffle her screams when she woke up from nightmares, she did her best to hide the gasps that came with being barely able to breathe after waking up from an especially bad one. She hid everything and acted fine. Well, as fine as one could be after going through the Games. She let some weakness slip from time to time, though she knew that it was only a matter of time before she broke down completely.

But, she tried not to get stuck on that.

She had to move on with life, after all. Best she could.

“Catherine, your eyebrows!” Venia sounded horrified, and Cath couldn’t help but laugh despite the light annoyance that had struck her at the sound of the accent. God, she hadn’t missed that damn accent. But… the crows weren’t too bad, considering. They were nice enough, despite their tendency to talk and talk about the damn parties they held over in the Capitol.

“Come on now, you’ll fix that in the blink of an eye!” Octavia took Cath’s hand in her own, and looked at her bitten nails with a raised eyebrow. She really hadn’t meant to bite them so much, but she had started to after waking up from nightmares. It was the best thing she could find other than screaming her lungs out. “What do you want me to do with this?! Seriously, you could have left me a little to work with!”

“It's not _that_ fucking bad-" She began, mostly amused, before Flavius cut her off.

“Nobody touched your hair since last time, I hope?” He asked, lifting some of her curls. It was longer, now. She hadn’t cut it in months. She kind of missed it short, but… then again, she could start braiding it again, so that was a bonus. She missed doing little braids in it when she was bored, or simply… stressed. “We did tell you not to cut your hair by yourself again.”

“Yeah, I didn’t touch it.” She assured, and at least that calmed the crows down. She had nearly done it, but she had a feeling that if she had they would have murdered her and passed it off as an accident.

Then, they started working. Her hair was quickly worked with, and the curls were more defined than they had been before. They weren’t as much of a mess, having been given the proper treatment. Not that it was bad before, it was just hard to find all the proper hair products for her head in District Twelve. She had now fake nails, too, which annoyed her slightly since she disliked the sensation, but she supposed that the paint put on them was nice. Her eyebrows were done, her hair was styled in the bun she had for her Reaping last year, and she had light makeup on. She looked more innocent than she was when she went down the stairs to meet up with Fritz.

Fritz. Her stylist. And, also a good friend.

She had called them a lot over the past few months. Because yes, she had a phone now. She took the time to talk with them, she took the time to learn about them, too. They had also been a lifesaver when it came time for her to choose a talent. Effie had sent her father a list of things that were deemed ‘’acceptable’’ and she had needed to pick something from it. She had considered singing, but she wasn’t good enough, and it was something she had preferred doing only around the people she trusted. And then, Fritz had proposed fashion. What they did. While it wasn’t her favorite thing and not something she had considered, she had taken a liking to it. She actually drew some things, mostly dresses, and sent the drawings to Fritz for them to make for her. So, she would have maybe a dress or two of her own design for the tour. Maybe it would help keep her sane a little longer.

“They look so much better than in drawings, holy shit,” She commented, as she took out one of the dresses. It was pink and had only one strap, that was over her right shoulder. It had various layers, and while the color of those layers were all the same, the fake butterflies sewn on it made it look like a fade that went from darker on the top to lighter on the bottom. It was one she was especially proud of, and she wished she could wear it now, but she knew it would be for one of the dinners in later Districts.

“They’re not bad, indeed.” Fritz just smirked and threw her clothes of their own design, something simpler and more casual. “Now go get dressed.”

“Not bad? Excuse you, they’re fucking great.” She huffed but took the bundle of clothes in her arm to go get changed. She ignored their laughter in the background. She was proud of what she had designed, and she would be damned if she let them make her feel like shit about it. Well, it wasn’t really their intention, she supposed, but it felt like it.

Once she was completely changed, she stood in front of the door.

Her Mockingjay pin was on her coat, as the door opened.

And to pretend she was in love, she went.

Because she would be damned if she let Snow ruin whatever good things she had left.


	3. Part Three

Catherine had never really been interested in marriage.

Sure, she liked the idea of it. The idea that was sharing the rest of your life with someone, trusting them enough to share your problems with them, and them doing the same with you. It was the idea of having someone there for you, it was the idea of someone loving you so much they agreed to stay with you for as long as they lived. It was something precious, something that she wanted on some level, but that she had grown up knowing it would be hard for her to get. After all, how likely was it that her small District would be okay with two women being together? There were chances that it would be okay, but it was still a fear she had grown up with.

But now? Now, considering their situation, considering how things were going for her, she knew she would never get it. The whole Capitol would be waiting for the day the two cursed lovers got married, the whole Capitol would be waiting. And, especially with President Snow looming over their heads, she knew it would need to happen soon. Sooner than she wanted it to, really.

She needed to talk about it to someone. As much as she didn’t want to, she knew she needed to tell someone about the thing that had happened with Snow. Mainly to settle a plan, find a solution, one that she knew she wouldn’t like in advance. And for that, she needed someone she trusted, and someone who she knew had experience dealing with the Capitol. 

She needed to talk to Gabe.

She waited until night fell to walk out of her room. She was still in her pajamas, and the only thing she had on was some old slippers, dirtied by the number of times she had walked outside in them like a dumbass on mornings where she was too tired to remember she needed to change shoes before making her way to school. She probably should be worried that he and Lukas were together right now, but they had agreed to be out of the District before starting to risk them moving to the other’s room. So, she expected to find Gabe especially grumpy as she pounded on his door, trying to keep her hand from shaking with nerve.

“...Catnip?” He sounded a little confused as he opened his door. His expression had been irritated at the start, but now it was just a mix of irritation, tiredness, and maybe a little bit of worry to boot. He stood there, arms crossed as he leaned against the door. It was no wonder he was still awake. She couldn’t remember the last time he had gone to sleep at a regular hour. There were too many times she had been woken up by him tapping at her window when they were younger, soon after his Games. She had ruined many of her nights staying awake with him, but to be honest, she would do it again. “What the fuck are you doing still awake?”

“...I could ask you the same,” She raised a brow, staring him down. He had no room to tell her that. She smirked a little at his irritated glare, but it quickly fell away after that, as she rubbed her arms uncomfortably, looking at the halls around her as if waiting for something to come and drag her back to her room. She knew she could do whatever she wanted, but she was still worried. It didn’t help that the train had started slowing down, obviously about to stop for whatever reason. Maintenance, maybe. Who knew. But, it gave her an opportunity, and she took it. “I need to talk to you about something. Personal, so if there's somewhere... less, I don't know-”

“Yeah… yeah, I know a spot. Come on.” He nodded a little slowly, having apparently caught on with what she meant. The train was probably filled with mics, and if anything got to the wrong person… it was the end for them. No matter what they did, in one way or another, it would be the end. He stumbled for the nearest door that gave onto the exterior, and when the train finally stopped completely, he jumped out, much to the other workers in the train’s consternation. He didn’t even wait for Cath to follow.

“He’s… just drunk.” He wasn’t drunk. But, she needed an excuse, and this was a good one. Especially considering the amount he had drunk recently. It would make sense to anyone who knew him. “I’ll go get him.”

She jumped right after him and walked through the snow, her slippers getting wet because of the snow. But she didn’t care. Not right now. She needed to talk, and this was probably the only person who could give her advice about the situation right now. She just hated that she was breaking in a way the façade she had going on for herself and those she cared about. She could just… pull it back on after that. Yeah. It would be fine. Totally.

“So. What is it?” He asked, once they were at the end of the train, where there were little to no chances that they would be heard. It was the safest they could be.

“...President Snow came and had a little visit at my house.” She grumbled, rubbing her arms from the cold. She hadn’t known they would be going outside, of course, but she wished she had a coat with her right now. They needed to be quick, and so her explanation would be, too. “Motherfucker knows about the fake love thing, because he had a _fucking_ picture of you two kissing, which is definitely gonna be a discussion we're gonna have later- but. For now... he came to request that we make it believable… or, he does something. I don’t even know what the fuck he has in mind, I just know it’s gonna end fucking badly.”

“...Cath, you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Does it sound like I’m kidding?” She scoffed, a little irritated, and pressed her lips together in a thin line as she looked over at the horizon. She didn’t want to look at Gabe right now. Especially with the tone of voice he just had. A mix of anger, and… fear, she supposed. She assumed there was fear in there, anyway. “I want to say we just gotta keep the fucking act up during the Tour, but we both know that won’t be enough, uh?”

“Yeah, it won’t be.” He shook his head, and he looked… tired. And angry, as he usually was. At least, that’s what she figured out from peeking at him from the corner of her eye. She supposed it made sense he was tired. They were all tired of the Capitol’s bullshit. They kept pulling things out of their ass, kept making their lives worse despite having won their stupid Games. It hurt. “They’ll come back in a few months for the next Games. You and Lukas are gonna be the next mentors for the District now, and each year they’re gonna replay your ‘love story’ with reports on your private life.”

“...So I’ll have to marry him at some point.” That was definitely the worst outcome that she had thought of. This was the one she had been scared of. Because it would go far past being married. They will want to see the children of the cursed lovers. And there was no way in hell she was having kids with her god damn best friend. No way in hell. She could play the part with kisses and all that, but nothing else. Now… now she would have to get married. “Shit.”

“Sooner than that if that visit from Snow meant anything.” 

“There has to be some other solution than that, right?” She asked though she knew it was just denial at this point. Denial at the solution. Her strong façade was slipping, but she didn’t exactly care in that moment. She was supposed to marry Gabe’s boyfriend, for the sake of pretending to be in love. That was fucked on so many levels, but then again, so were many things about the Capitol. “We’ll find one-”

“Cath, it’s the only solution and we both know it.” It sounded final. He stood there for a few seconds after that, obviously trying to calm himself down a bit before he shook his head and turned away to make his way back to the train. “Come on. We should go back before they send someone else after us.”

She nodded and took a breath. Put the wall back up. She walked after Gabe after a few seconds, looking cool and collected on the outside… when she was breaking on the inside. Though, it’s not like she wasn’t used to it. It was how it had been for the past few months.

One more night of pretending to be okay wouldn’t hurt.

\-----

District Eleven was beautiful. While to outsiders it may seem like a regular district, another poor one that had trouble holding up, to her eyes? To her eyes, it was a jewel. But then again, she might be thinking that because it was the district Little Rose had come from. Little Rose, who had found a tragic end in the arena. Little Rose, who had deserved to live for so much longer. Cath found the little girl’s beauty in every tree they passed, in every flower she saw. She was part of her district, she was part of the life that bloomed around them.

Though, it was a shame that the buildings around them weren’t in a good state. They must have been beauties, too, once upon a time, but time had obviously caught up to them. Though, there was a certain charm to the plants that grew on its walls. It made it look abandoned, yes, but there was a charm to it. A charm that she couldn’t help but admire as they were brought to the where they were supposed to give their speeches. Ones that the Capitol had made, but ones that they could add personal notes at the end of for certain allies of certain Districts.

Some small part of her was scared that she wouldn’t be able to do the speeches, once in front of all these people. Some small part of her was terrified that she would freeze, mouth open, as she stared at the families of the people that had kept her alive. Thresh had saved her life, even if they weren’t really allies, and Rose… Rose had been like a little sister by the end of her life. She was especially scared to see the little girl’s family. She wondered if they would be bitter towards her, bitter that she hadn’t done more to save her. She beat herself up every day about it already, she didn’t want bitterness towards herself added on top of it, too.

She barely heard the people’s clapping as they made their way up the marble stairs, she barely heard the mayor’s speech. Her ears were ringing as she looked at the families. Thresh’s had only an old woman with a curved back, the signs that came with working so hard for so long. There was also a tall, strong woman that looked a lot like him with the old woman. His sister, most likely. Then her eyes drifted to the other family. Both parents still had marks of grief on their faces, and there were marks of exhaustion that made it even sadder. Her little siblings all looked the same, and it was in those moments she remembered that work never stopped for them, even with grief. The flowers in her arms looked out of place around this grief, but she still held them, deciding to take them with her if only for the little flower she could not save.

Lukas did his speech. She couldn’t really hear the words, still. He did his speech and added his own personal note. He also added something she hadn’t expected him to do, something that came with knowing how important Rose had been to her, with knowing how much grief her death had caused her. He gave both families a part of their gain, every month, until both she and he died. 

Which, was what had shaken her out of her silent world, long enough to play the part of a young woman in love, enough to actually feel some happiness at that offer. It was something that had never been done before, and they would probably get in trouble for it, but it was a lot. It was so much. Those families wouldn’t feel hunger. Never again.

The Capitol’s speech was mostly neutral, as it usually was. But what truly changed it was what she added at the end, something she added last minute. Something she hadn’t even written before this stop at District Eleven.

“I know this may not seem a lot to you all, but the Tributes from District Eleven meant a lot to me. Thresh, I didn’t know him all that much, granted, but I respected him. He could have killed me, he could have moved on with his life, but he didn’t. He refused to bend to the rules, and he had so much strength. A strength that went beyond the physical. I respect him for that.” There was a knot forming in her throat, but despite it, there were no tears welling in her eyes. Just an intense sadness in the pit of her stomach and squeezing her heart as she turned to look at Rose's family. “Though, I knew Rose. I knew that little girl, that little flower. She may be gone, but I find her in every beautiful thing. I find her in the flowers in front of my house, I find her in the singing of the mockingjays. She was like a little sister. So thank you. Thank you for your children.

“And thank you for the bread.” She remained silent after that, trying to work through her sadness, that all consuming sadness that was currently breaking her little by little as she stood there. She smiled, though, at the small four little notes that Rose had shown her, the little melody that everyone now knew apparently.

The rest was a blur.

The people doing District Twelve’s greeting.

Her forgetting her flowers, and having to go back.

And the man that had whistled, getting shot in the head.


	4. Part Four

The rest of the Tour passed by, way more tense than it should have been after what happened after her speech in District Eleven.

She could see the guy being dragged to the steps, she could still see him being shot in front of everyone else, being shown as an example. A man who had done a simple, harmless thing, had been shown as an example. Another death caused by her. Another death, another death. There couldn’t be more, which is why Lukas was informed of the marriage thing about right after the man was shot. She couldn’t allow anyone else to die because of her, and if it meant she had to marry someone at seventeen years old going on eighteen, then so it would be. She had enough blood on her hands to paint a town, now.

The rest of the Tour, they had kept to the speech provided by the Capitol. The words felt impersonal, too impersonal, and cold, especially to the faces of some of the Districts. Eight, Four, and Three had waited for something, a sign to start something, and she hadn’t given it to them. They were filled with anger, and when they chanted her name, some part of her couldn’t help but think this was a war cry. A cry that showed their anger to her, the pain she had caused to their Districts. But, she hadn’t wanted to cause that. She hadn’t wanted to. What did they think? That she had wanted to kill? Of course she hadn’t wanted to. She could be... violent, but she wasn't murderous.

Her dresses needed adjustments, now. Adjustments that worried Fritz, apparently, as after each District, the dresses around her waist needed to be sewn tighter and tighter. When she tried to eat, it left the same way it had gone in soon after, from stress and fear. And if it wasn’t from that, it was because of her nightmares, nightmares that had shaken her so deeply she couldn’t help but throw up whatever food she had eaten during dinner that night. And, as they began to get more and more intense, intense enough to feel a throbbing pain where she was stabbed or strangled in each of the nightmares when she woke up, she skipped nights more often. Eyebags appeared under her eyes, and Effie pointed it out. Despite her worry, she still smiled and pretended to be fine. She had to be fine. She had to be.

But, no matter how many reassurances she gave, she was given something to help her sleep. Pills that were supposed to put her to sleep, and she supposed they worked for a while, but they were not intense enough after a week. Effie gave her stronger ones when she saw Cath stopped sleeping again, and that had been when the problem emerged. There was one night where she woke up screaming, feeling as if she was drowning, drowning in the world between reality and sleep. She was stuck, and it made her heart pound hard as panic flooded her veins. It was like emerging to breathe, but being brought back right under moments after, back into the Hell that had hurt her so often. She hadn’t bothered muffling her screams that night, and because of it, she was stuck with her two friends seeing her a mess. She hadn’t wanted them there, she hadn't wanted to be pitied. She hadn’t wanted to. They had stayed with her, and the next morning, they hadn’t mentioned it. Either because they had seen how reluctant she was to talk about it, or because they were all still too tired to mention it. 

Despite her efforts, Lukas still came to her room from time to time during the night. She didn’t know if he heard her wake up, she didn’t know if he heard her scream into her pillow from time to time, but he came. He came again and again, no matter how many times she tried keeping him away.

“What was it about this time?” He had asked one night, having apparently woke up because of her shaking. She felt terrible because of it. She should be strong. He shouldn’t be here, trying to comfort her and helping her fucking sleep. He should be with Gabe. She had been doing just fine so far, so why couldn't she act like it right now?

“Clove.” She gasped, closed her fists tightly to keep her hands from shaking. She wasn’t lying, when she said the nightmare was about Clove. This was a dream where Thresh had never come, where things had truly gone wrong. This was a dream where she ruined her lips, then went for the other parts of her face, and despite how much blood she was losing, she hadn’t been able to simply close her eyes and fall asleep. Her eyes kept wide awake, and she woke up with a gasp and a shudder when the knife finally went for her head. “She was fucking torturing me. Again. And again. And again. And-”

“Okay, okay, Cath, calm down.” He gripped her shoulder a little tighter, to try and bring her back from the loop she was obviously about to be stuck in. She had done it when it was both him and Gabe that had come to see what was wrong, and she had done it one more time before. He learned to get her out of it before she could truly get stuck. “You’re not in that damn arena, yeah?”

“...Yeah.” She mumbled. Fuck. She hated this. Her wall was brought down, and she couldn’t bring it back up. In those moments she truly wasn’t okay, she wasn’t strong as she had sworn to be, and she hated it. But… some part of her was grateful she wasn’t completely alone right now. “Thank you.”

“‘Course, you dumb whore.”

After that, came the night that they had an interview with Caesar, in front of the Training Center. He kept asking questions they babbled answers about, not expecting any of them. It was towards the end that Lukas did the proposal thing they had planned. She had wanted to cry, cry from despair, and she did, she supposed, though she made sure that the tears looked from happiness. She had smiled, she had nodded, pretending her voice had left her, and had looked like a happy woman who had been given what she had wanted all along. Even if it wasn’t the case. The Capitol was happy, though. They were hysteric, and Caesar was more than happy. After all, he had been right there for the engagement of the cursed lovers. 

But despite all this, it apparently hadn’t been enough for Snow.

Her heart broke in her chest and anger took over as it usually did, but she kept the pretending game up. She agreed to the marriage being held at the Capitol, she laughed along when the President said that convincing her father to agree to the engagement would be a pain, and she had even joked along, even if the only thing she had wanted to do was spit in his stupid face. His stupid, smiling face. She allowed herself to eat that night, even if she knew that she would throw it right back up. Whether it would be after a nightmare, or the moment she got on the train again to go back home, knowing that something terrible would be waiting, despite all the efforts she had done.

Some part of her was grateful that the celebration in District Twelve would be in the Mayor’s house and not anywhere else. She quite liked the Mayor’s house, especially now that she was closer friends with Charlie. She had thought they were acquaintances, at most, before the Games, but… the girl had given her a present, her pin, right before she left. It was a precious thing, something no one would expect to be given, but Charlie had done it. So, after her Games, she had taken the time to spend more time with her. She had taken the time to get to know her.

At the start, their relationship was rocky, as they had never really talked about what each other liked. Charlie liked playing the piano, and she showed Cath how to play, and sometimes she sang along to the music. In her case, she showed Charlie some hunting techniques when she could, and she talked about her designs. Charlie had never been a big fan of fashion, but she did like drawing, so from time to time, they had hung out, simply drawing. Charlie did whatever she wanted, and Cath, well… she designed. She was wearing the one she had done with Charlie’s help, actually. A white one, that reached her ankles. There were embroidered flowers on the sleeves and chest of it, and some went down from the waist and on the skirt. It was something that would have been good in District Eleven, now that she thought about it, but she had insisted on keeping it for her home District. She knew her Father would have loved to see her in it, and she knew Charlie would love to see it.

Which, was why she was walking down the halls of her home now. She knew Charlie’s room was on the first floor, along with guest rooms and her father’s office. Light filtered from the mayor’s office, and despite how she knew she probably shouldn’t be peeking in, she still looked. She was about to turn away when she figured there was nothing interesting, but she frowned when the screen of the TV turned black. She knew she probably shouldn’t be seeing this, but she still entered the office, curiosity getting the better of her.

It didn’t remain black for long.

A woman that she didn’t recognize appeared on the screen. Her hair was peppered with gray, showing her advanced age, and her voice was harsh. It held an air of authority that she wished she had. She knew she could be intimidating, but scaring people into listening and having their respect was two very different things. The woman was straight to the point, not bothering to turn around the bush as the usual animators did on the mandatory shows. She declared that an alert of level three was announced, and that more officers were sent to District Eight, along with the fact that the production of textile was stopped. Catherine was definitely confused as she stood there, head tilted to the side to try and make sense of the words in her head.

Images are then broadcasted. Images of where she had been when she had gone to District Eight, which she recognized easily. She had been there the week before, after all. The banners with her face on it were still hung on the walls, and under them… war. Well, maybe not a literal war, but it looked and felt like it. Multiple people were fighting with a mask covering their faces, hoping to protect their identities. They fought holding bricks as their only defense, and multiple buildings were burning bright. Peacekeepers were shooting in there, not bothered by who died because of it. She felt sick, as her hands gripped her dress. So much death, happening on the screen, and no one was bothered. No one was bothered, and she knew why. She absolutely knew why, and she brought a hand to her face, feeling like she would be sick at any moment.

This was what Snow meant.

This was a rebellion.


	5. Part Five

When Sunday came around, she was desperate to get out of her house. Horrible thoughts had spun through her mind throughout the whole week, and those thoughts had made her nightmares worse. She had barely slept, but thankfully, she had managed to eat not to worry her father, Marcus, and Cindy. She had managed to not throw up the food, and because of it, she was slowly on her way to start gaining weight again. They hadn’t mentioned the weight loss, oddly enough, but she was grateful for it. She wasn’t in the mood to explain the sudden loss when she should have gained some from the amount of food the Capitol always offered. After all, she had talked about it when she had come back home, considering it was one of the only positive things out of the Games. An odd thing to talk about, maybe, but... the only thing she was _willing_ to talk about.

Though, she knew it was only a matter of time until they mentioned it.

Which was why she had packed food in her bag, along with a thermos filled with tea. She doubted it would be enough to hold her a whole afternoon in the forest, but it would be enough to make her last a little while. It would give her enough time to cry as much as she wanted, it would give her enough time to get as angry as she wanted at everything. It would give her enough time by herself so that she sorted through her thoughts so that she could bring back up her façade more easily once that was done and over with.

_“You’re searching for Charlie?” The Mayor asked, smiling warmly at her. She had waved awkwardly at him, hoping her stress wasn’t that obvious on her face at the fact that she had been somewhere she probably shouldn’t have been._

_“Yeah,” She nodded, fixing her skirt quickly, her fingers brushing over the embroidered flowers with a weak smile. “I was hoping to talk to her. It's been a while since I've seen her and all.”_

_“You know where she is,” He was still smiling, though it had faded away for a moment at the beeps that came from his office, before coming back. It was a lot more nervous, making the expression on his face more tense and fake, though she ignored it for his sake. And also because she had an idea of what was going on in there, and she did not wish to know more at the moment. He went to his office soon after that. “Excuse me.”_

Though she still strongly disliked the cold and winter in general, at that moment, it was a little bit comforting. It allowed her to have something to concentrate on to keep her sane. The cold that bit at her cheeks, the puffs of air that left her mouth as she panted, slowly making her way through the woods and towards the lake. The crunch of the branches under her feet, the sound of fresh snow under her boots. Her fingers stiffing from the cold. All of that gave her something to hold onto, not to spiral away into an endless train of thought that she knew she wouldn’t get out of unless someone shook her out of it themselves.

_“Look at you, you look right out of the Capitol,” Charlie commented, sounding a little amused as she looked at Catherine from her mirror. She was still braiding her hair slowly, something complex, but that Cath knew would fit the girl well._

_“Nah, I fucking don’t. I look like a District Twelve girl masquerading as someone from the Capitol,” She joked, approaching Charlie. Her finger brushed over the Mockingjay pin absentmindedly, the gift the girl in front of her had given her. “I miss the ridiculous hair colors. Or tattoos. Or the skin dye thing. All three, while we’re at it.”_

_“Hm, yeah, you’re not wrong there.” Charlie laughed and smiled as she tied the ribbon in her hair, before turning in her hair to look at Catherine, head tilted slightly to the side. “Do you like the pin?”_

_“I do.” She nodded a little. “But you’re sure you don’t want it back or some shit?”_

_“It’s a gift.” She shrugged. “And besides, it fits you better than it ever did on me.”_

When she finally reached the cabin, she sighed in relief. It looked the same it did years ago when she had first found it. The glass was yellowed with age, and the roof was in an ugly state, but it was home. It was her safe space. She had to fight a little with the door, and a nasty creak came from it when she opened it, but other than that…. the house was fine. The same cement walls, the same shitty furniture she had made herself one summer, the same… everything. It was a place frozen in time, and she was grateful for it, as she sat in front of the fireplace. 

“I figured I’d find your dumb ass here,” A voice declared, and she froze in place, her mind working overdrive to figure out who could have followed her, who could have possibly taken the time to try and walk her into a corner. She spun around, eyes wild and panicked, though, relief flooded through her when she saw it was Lukas there.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She asked, smiling a little. She pat the bench next to her, and quickly went back to trying to start the fire. She threw some logs in there and used some matches and old paper to lit it up. The flames licked the wood, slowly burning it and warming up the cabin. “I never showed you the way over here.”

“I followed you,” He explained with a shrug, and sat down, before stretching his legs in front of him. Cath stared at him, trying to figure out how the hell she hadn’t heard him. He had been so loud in the damn forest back in the arena, when she had brought him with her hunting. Either he had worked on how loud he was being when walking, or she had been so stuck in her head that she hadn’t heard him. Either was likely. He eventually turned his head to stare right back at her, seemingly not bothered. “Saw you run out of your house. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am. I just… got some stuff on my mind.” She shrugged, trying to dismiss it, but at the look she got from him, she pressed her lips together in a thin line, before sighing and looked back at the fire. She rubbed her hands together to try and warm them up, blew on them to buy herself a few seconds, and eventually decided to just jump right into it. “I saw some shit on the Mayor’s TV. District Eight is rebelling, I think. They were attacking, they were wearing masks… God, I keep trying not to fucking blame myself, but… I can’t help but think it’s my damn fault.”

“Like... like a rebellion?” He sounded a little bit disturbed, as he stared at her, but… he almost sounded hopeful, too. She supposed they had all dreamt of rebelling at least once in their lives, wondering what would happen if shit truly changed. What would have happened had the rebels won all those years ago. How different would life be? Without the Games, without anything to threaten them at any moment… how good would life be? Which is why she shook her head no. No, she wasn’t kidding. She had seen that on the damn news on that TV. “...Wow. God. Are the other Districts in on it too?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I just saw District Eight.” She shook her head. God, she hoped Snow wouldn’t make things worse for her already because of it. “Just… God. Things are finally fucking moving, but… I’m scared of the consequences that will fucking come with it.”

“Snow can’t punish all the Districts because of it,” Lukas sounded so sure as he said that, staring at the fire. “The only thing it would do is make things move along more, and that’s what he’s scared of, right?”

“We don’t know that. He could do it. Make the Districts scared, it would kill the movement right the fuck away.” She hated thinking that way. She wanted to be hopeful, but a small part of her kept telling her that. It kept whispering that Snow would do something, try and end it the moment it started, and he would find a way to blame it on all of them. He couldn’t do another trick of the Games, surely, but it wouldn’t surprise her if punishment came in the form of a new law, something terrible that would make life even worse than it was.

“...Well, there’s only one way to know if we’re being punished because of that movement, yeah?” He got up, and proposed a hand towards Cath to help her back up. She took it, and she was tugged off the bench, with a small smile. “Let’s go back. I’ve got to make a stop at the bakery.”

She put the fire out, and the walk back to the District was… mostly calm. She listened to the mockingjays, hoping to take her mind off everything. She hummed to herself the four little notes Rose had taught her over and over when they had finally left the forest, she sang to herself as she slipped her arm around Lukas’s own when they finally entered back into the District. This was one of the easiest ways to keep up the romance thing, and it allowed them to catch the other before they slipped on a patch of ice and hurt themselves.

She finally stopped singing when she heard something odd come from the square. A whistle then a crack, that sounded like lightning in the moment. Then the murmurs of the crowd. Cath looked at Lukas, and the blond looked back, before nodding as they sped up to make their way towards the square. Something was wrong, that much was obvious. Though what it was… she had no clue. She climbed on one of the boxes near one of the stores to look over the heads of the crowds, and she squinted, trying to figure out what was happening.

Her breathing stopped.

Violet was being whipped.

She didn’t even hear Lukas’s warning to stay back, instead running headfirst into the crowd. Fear was pumping through her veins, though it wasn’t fear for herself. This was fear for the little girl that was being whipped, this was fear for the little girl who she had decided to be responsible for. She had decided to protect her, and right now? She was doing her job.

“Stop it!” She ran in front of the girl that was tied to a stake, a turkey pinned right on top of her head, as if it was showing off her crime. She was already passed out, and her coat was on the ground, obviously having been forcefully removed and thrown away from her. Her shirt was ripped, and her back was a mess of blood. The metallic smell was so strong it made Cath want to gag, but she had a more important thing to do, as she stared down the man in front of her. It wasn’t someone she recognized. He was old, with graying hair, and his expression was almost just as cold as President’s Snow. Anger was bubbling in her gut, and ugly words were forming at her lips, though she knew she couldn't scream them as it would have made the whole situation so much worse. She hated it. “Are you fucking crazy?! You’ll kill her!”

The man didn’t even listen to her. He lifted the whip once again.

And she received the full strike of it on her face. She fell to the ground from the shock of it, one hand holding herself up, while the other was holding up where she had been struck. She would definitely have another scar there. But she didn’t care. This was to protect the family she felt responsible for. This was to protect Violet. She closed her eyes when the man raised the whip again, and she fully expected to be struck again, but…

“Stop!” A voice commanded, and she almost melted in relief. Though there was also a small part of shame in there, too. Why the hell Gabe was here, she didn’t know, but she was grateful he was. He was someone with more influence than she did, someone who had been on TV numerous times over the past few years, he was someone people knew. She wasn’t known enough yet, she didn’t have enough influence. It irritated her to no end, but… at least she wouldn’t be fucking whipped along with Violet. He made his way over to her and helped her back up, though she winced a little at the grip. Yeah, that wasn't a good sign. “Great. She has a photoshoot next week, in her wedding dresses. How the hell am I gonna explain this to her stylist?”

“She stopped the punishment of a criminal.”

“I don’t care if she tried blowing shit up!” He yelled, obviously pissed off. She knew that look too well, she knew how he acted when he was _furious_ too well. She knew she would be in for a talk after this, but she couldn't bring herself to care right now. She just wanted to bring back Violet back home, and take care of her injuries. “Look at her damn cheek! Do you think she’s gonna be ready for cameras in less than a week?”

“Not my problem.” The man sounded mildly irritated, though more at the fact that he was stopped from doing what he wanted to her and Violet. 

“Well, it’s gonna become your damn problem. First call I make once I’m home is gonna be to the Capitol, and it’s gonna be to ask who fucking allowed you to ruin the face of one of my winners!”

“The girl was caught hunting illegally, what right does _your winner_ even have to stop this?”

“It’s her cousin.” Lukas put an arm around her’s, and while it reassured her, she certainly wasn't glad Lukas had seen this too. She would be told off by him too, now, but she supposed it could be worse. Much worse. But… she was grateful for the save. She supposed in some ways Violet could be considered her cousin, even maybe another sister. Cath had taken care of her for years, she was definitely family now, along with Faith and the others. “And, she and I are engaged, so if you want to continue punishing that little girl, you’ll have to go through the both of us.”

This was what done it, along with some of the other Peacekeeper’s intervention. She was let off the hook, along with Violet. Granted, Violet would be warned not to do it again, especially considering if she gets caught again, she would definitely die by that man’s hand. There was no way in hell she was allowing it. She sighed when the new Chief left, and when she turned to look at her best friends, she smiled a little nervously.

She was in for a talk, wasn’t she?


	6. Part Six

Catherine remained by Violet’s side for as long as she could.

She held the girl’s hand tightly as she slept through the pain, as she was unaware of the world. It was better this way, she knew that, and she kept hoping she would remain asleep for as long as possible. She didn’t wish to see her in such pain. This was her fault, too, and she felt so much guilt from it. She had been the one to show her how to hunt. She had been supposed to bring them food too, but seeing she hadn’t, Violet had decided to go herself, and look where she was now. On a table, with a back that would definitely scar. Was this a curse she held? Would she cause pain to literally anyone she cared about? Was this why this girl, this sixteen years old girl, was there right now?

Because she kept making shit decisions?

She squeezed the girl’s hand tighter, and her other hand went to move a few strands of dark hair away from Violet’s sleeping face. She whined a little but remained asleep. It was better this way. She would hurt less this way. But some part of her wanted Violet to wake up, because by God… she looked so much like Reyna. And she could remember what Reyna had looked like on that screen, sleeping, before soon passing away. It felt like Violet would fade away at any moment as her older sister had during her Games.

“I’m so sorry,” Cath whispered sadly.

At least no one was there to see the tiredness making her shoulders sink, at least no one was there to see her break, to see she wasn't the same.

No one had been there to see her cry for the first time in a while.

\---

The next few days were like Hell on earth. Things only kept getting worse. 

She knew that there would be consequences coming with the fact Snow hadn’t believed their love, she knew there would be consequences coming with the actions of District Eight, she knew there would be consequences for everything. But, things were truly bad. The Hob was burned to the ground, and with it, whatever source of food and money some could get. Then they closed the mine for two weeks, causing people to starve even more. And with starving people came kids asking for tesserae, hoping to stay alive for a little longer. But, half the time, they didn’t even get the wheat. Even those with money often came back from the stores with empty hands. There was a lack of food, and you could sense it around the District.

When they opened the mine again, it was to reduced salary and augmented hours, which caused the men to come home even more tired than usual. They were also sent to the more dangerous veins of coal, and seeing the men were tired, it only made the chance of death higher. It was a wonder there wasn’t an accident yet. At this point, it was a matter of time before an accident happened and countless people died in the mines again, as it had happened to her twin siblings. She bit her nails every day as she watched people walk to the mines. She was terrified out of her fucking mind, though she did her best to hide it.

Her stress had gone down a little, when the day of the Gifts came. But of course, she should have figured those wouldn’t be spared. The food came infested and rotten, and because of that, people kept starving. People kept starving, and with starvation, came desperation. People stole, and when they were caught, the new installations of the square were put into use. Depending on how ‘bad’ the crime was, the punishment was different. Of course, there were also arrestations for petty crimes. Petty crimes that everyone forgot they even were crimes from the start. Because of that stress, that stress of seeing people she knew possibly getting arrested, her nightmares were getting more intense again.

She was a pure mess.

And when she was a mess, she made more shit decisions.

She threw open her wardrobe and dug through it, grabbing the first warm winter clothes she could find and threw them on her bed carelessly. She was shaking as she changed into the clothing, knowing how fucking warm it was and how long it would last her. She could easily spend a few hours in the forest with that on, and she wouldn’t be freezing. Just a few hours. Just a few hours away from everything, every fucking mistake she ever made. Just a few hours to unload, she kept telling herself, as she grabbed a bag and went to the kitchen to fill it with as much food as possible. They were all used to her making rounds, giving food when people would accept it. So, it would be a good alibi. She would give it when she came back to make sure it wasn’t suspicious.

She made her way through alleys and smaller roads, she avoided every main place where she knew she would be seen and stopped. She took to the shadows, and made her way towards where she knew would be a hole where she would be safe to slip out from. Behind the butcher shop, where no one really looked anyway, and where so many miners walked. So, nobody would really bother to look for her footprints along with all the others. She slipped out, and as she made her way towards the forest, heart pumping in her chest, she made sure to cover her footsteps behind her. 

She only allowed herself to breathe when she had her bow and quiver over her back, a source of security in this forest. It was quiet as it usually was, and she hummed along to the mockingjays, trying to allow herself to calm down and forget despite every event that had happened for the past few days hanging over her head. Her feet guided her towards the cabin, where she knew she would be safe for a little while. Where she knew she could rest, where she knew she wouldn’t be found. Well, Lukas knew, of course, but she doubted it would be the first place he would check if he was truly worried.

The walk was exhausting and took twice the usual time, but it did her some good to spend some energy this way, to have something else to think about that wasn’t the shit that was going on around her. It was good to only worry about the cold and how quickly her nose would fall off if she didn’t get to that cabin soon. She should have brought a scarf for her face or something. Thankfully, the rest of her body was still warm when she emerged from the forest and near the lake. She only then noticed the smoke that came from the chimney, the footsteps in the snow that gave to the cabin. The smell of pine that was being infused for tea, making everything calm and comforting.

She took a few steps towards the cabin wearily, when she froze, not because of what she could find in there, but because she had heard the sound of what was a gun cocking behind her. God, had someone really a gun with them? Was this how she would die? Not by the hand of Snow, but instead some rogue person who had been trigger happy and shot her down? As much as she would have preferred dying like that, she couldn’t. She had people to go home to. So, in reflex, she took out an arrow and pulled back the string of her bow, taking aim at the person in front of her.

A person with a white uniform, a sharp chin, light brown eyes stood at the end of her arrow.

“Wait, wait stop!” The woman screamed desperately after dropping her weapon, bringing out a small bread that she pretty much shoved in Cath’s face. A mockingjay was on it, the same mockingjay that was on her pin. The bread was out of date and molding, and she truly had no clue what the sign meant so shooting her arrow would probably be a good call if that trick had been only but a distraction, but at the same time… she was curious.

“What the fuck does that even mean?!” She hissed, glaring harshly. She had no clue as to what was going on, and she wanted answers. Answers she would get. 

“It means we’re on your side,” Another voice said from behind her, but she didn’t turn. She kept her arrow pointed at the woman in front of her. She hadn’t heard someone approaching. They must have been in the cabin, waiting, and having seen what was going on outside, had decided to come and defend their ally. Though, thankfully, they didn’t cock their gun if they had one, knowing it would probably only make Cath shoot.

“Come on out,” She hissed, trying to sound as strict as she could. “I want to see you.”

“She can’t-”

“I said come on out!” She said again, this time louder and a little angrier. Apparently, this was enough, because a little girl limped out of the forest. Well, she wasn’t exactly little, but she sure looked like it because of the uniform on her back. It was too big, obviously, and it wasn’t pretty to see. She looked like she had gone through hell and back. She used a dead branch as a cane. The tip of her right boot was dragging into the snow. Her teeth weren’t set right, and she had a beauty mark above her eye. She obviously wasn’t a Peacekeeper or someone from the Capitol. “...Who are you?”

“I’m Twill,” The woman, the one who had the gun, was the one to answer. She then looked towards the girl, the one who was obviously injured and who had the too-big Peacekeeper uniform on. “And this is Bonnie. We ran away from District Eight.”

“Where did you guys find these damn uniforms?”

“I stole them from the factory,” Bonnie explained, sounding just a little bit guilty. “We were the ones that made them. Though I had planned this one to be for someone else, so… it’s why it’s a little big.”

“As for the weapon…” Twill followed Cath’s gaze, before going back to her face. “I stole it from a Peacekeeper.”

“Alright, what about the bread? Why the fuck did you put a bird on it?”

“You… don’t know, Catherine?” Bonnie sounded a little shocked. Cath didn’t know why it was so odd to hear her name out of a total stranger’s mouth, but then again, she had to remember it was easy to recognize her. She was a Victory, after all. Probably everyone knew her face.

“It’s the same thing I have on my pin.”

“You don’t know… God, you must know nothing, don’t you?” Bonnie whispered under her breath, sounding almost… disappointed. Why was she disappointed?

“I know something broke out in District Eight,” She straightened up a little. “I know there was a fucking rebellion or some shit.”

“That’s why we had to run away, you see.”

“Congrats, that definitely went well.” Her tone was sarcastic. Definitely sarcastic. “What do you intend to do now?”

“We’re on our way to District Thirteen.”

_Now… that was new._


	7. Part Seven

She should have known there would be consequences to going outside in the woods.

Some part of her didn’t regret it. Some part of her didn’t regret going out, considering it gave her some good fucking information. One, that District Eight wasn’t doing any better than they were. So, the things happening here were definitely because of their rebellion. Second, was that apparently there might be a District Thirteen still. It sounded like wishful thinking from Twill and Bonnie’s part, coming with desperation, but… some small part of Cath wanted to believe it. She wanted to believe there was a safe place out there where they could go, and maybe find a way to bring things back to.. well, not normal, but to a better place. So, because of that, she didn’t regret it all that much.

She did get really fucking angry at herself, though, when she found that the fence on the way back had been electrified again. Either someone had seen her leave and alerted the Peacekeepers, or it had been in the plan for a while and they had only now electrified it again. Either way, she knew Thread must be smiling like a child that had gotten what he wanted on his birthday at the fact that she was fucking trapped out of the District, and if she didn’t find a way back real fucking soon along with an alibi, she would be arrested. And if she got arrested… she knew there were high chances it was the end of the line for her, in one way or another. No matter that she was a Victor. The fact that she had stopped Violet’s whipping on the square had pretty much made her a criminal in Thread’s eyes.

She thankfully found a way, though she fucking ruined her foot because of it. And maybe her coccyx too while she was at it. It was definitely broken from the feeling of it, from the pain that shot through her leg as she walked. It was almost just as painful as that time she had broken a few fingers from trying to fight Gabe when they were younger. She still clenched her teeth tightly together, and walked all the way home, and spat out the stupidest alibi she could find. And that alibi had been telling the Peacekeepers she had been pretty much everywhere, and that she hadn’t found the person she was looking for. They thankfully bought it, or at least, they couldn’t dispute it. Because after all, she was home, and she had brought groceries with her, so if they were to ask around stores, they would tell them she had been around moments ago to buy something. So, she was safe. For now, anyway.

The next few weeks were too slow for her taste. She was stuck in bed, not able to do anything. She wasn’t able to do anything, and because of it, she slipped back into her memories more and more often. So, while it helped make time go by faster, it also caused her to remember things she didn’t want. Like Rose’s death. She didn’t know how many times she relived it, she didn’t know how many times she snapped back to reality holding onto the covers of her bed so tightly her knuckles were white. She hated it. She wasn’t moving, she didn’t have something else to concentrate on, and because of it, she was slipping away. Lukas started coming around soon after that, and just being able to joke with her best friend helped a lot. 

There were also some more positive things about being stuck in bed. Not moving and not burning away the calories helped her gain back the weight she lost during the Tour. She no longer looked like she was dancing on the line between health and starvation. Thank God for that, too, because she knew Fritz would have pointed it out. She knew they would have made it their job to make sure she gained some weight before getting to work on her wedding dresses. Because, yes, that was still happening. She was still supposed to get fucking married despite everything, and she was definitely procrastinating trying the dresses on. She didn’t want to put on a white dress and look at herself in a mirror, knowing she would be marrying someone she wasn’t even in love with. She loved Lukas the way one would love a best friend or even family. She didn’t love him that way, and the fact she was supposed to marry him? She was terrified out of her mind.

By the end of winter and at the start of spring, her foot was was once again functional. She had to do exercises, given by her father, and she was allowed to walk a little. It was still bad enough she couldn’t walk in heels, though, and she knew that would be a problem as the date for the photoshoot was nearing. She had planned to slip out the next day, go to the city a little and allow herself to forget about the stupid marriage, but obviously, the Universe had another idea in mind when she woke up to find the colorful crows bent over her bed, too close to her face for her comfort.

“Surprise!” They exclaimed, joy shining on their faces. It was almost creepy from the amount of makeup they had on, but at this point, Catherine was used to it. “We’ve come early!”

Oh, joy.

“I miss shrimps, you know,” Octavia sighed, maybe an hour into her transformation. Cath had been sitting through a good hour of rumors already, and her head could explode from the number of things she had learned in such a short amount of time. Octavia had been talking about parties for the past fifteen minutes, and each complaint she had about them. Cath had tuned out five minutes in, simply humming and nodding from time to time, though that did cause her to snap back into the conversation. Harshly. “There hasn’t been any to any parties for a good while now! It’s a shame, really.”

“...Isn’t it the season?” She asked carefully, slowly, almost afraid of the reaction they would have. She was definitely prodding into dangerous territory, and if it sounded like she knew something, if it sounded like she was trying to learn something, she was in for a treat. “It doesn’t fucking make sense if there are no shrimps if it’s the season-”

“Oh, we haven’t had any seafood for weeks!” Octavia sighed heavily, patting Cath on the shoulder lightly. She said it as if it was something Cath should know, as if it was obvious. “You know, because of the bad weather in District Four.”

“Right. Bad weather.” She agreed and stayed silent as the crows started chattering around her head again, going back to whatever rumor they were more interested in next. While they did that, the gears turned in Cath’s head instead. District Four had been in an especially bad mood when she had gone to them during her Tour, and the fact that apparently there was nothing coming from there for weeks… it would make sense if they had rebelled, too. Then came complaints about how they couldn’t get something that District Three provided. If she kept track correctly… God. Three, Four, and Eight are the ones that might have actually rebelled recently. She was about to open her mouth to ask more questions, but Fritz entered before she could even ask them.

“Well, well, look who’s back from the dead,” Fritz smirked a little, and approached her to bring her into a tight hug. They lifted her chin a little to look over the makeup, and their face fell a little at the mark of the new scar. It was… fading, definitely fading, but it still wasn’t pretty. But, it’s not like she wasn’t used to being scarred now. There was the one on her cheek. It was just another addition to the collection. “How has it been healing?”

“I don’t know, Fritz, how was death? Did you make friends in Hell?” She shot right back, lifting a brow, and smirking at the small chuckle that she got out of them. Though, at the question, she sighed and shrugged. “It’s been healing alright. I just try not to think too fucking hard about it. It’s just… another scar on the long list that’s growing.”

“Do you want to keep it in the picture or do you want it covered?” They asked, pretty much already bringing out the makeup to try and do a better job at covering it than the crows had. At the same time, it’s not like it was easy to hide a scar under makeup. She knew. She had tried with the one Clove had given her. She had quickly given up, though, and decided to just accept it.

“Cover it. It’s light enough anyway.” She shrugged, and Fritz smiled a little sadly before getting to work.

The next hours were… painful. It was a constant change of dresses, a constant change of makeup and hairstyle. It went from pearls to diamonds, from simple white to lace. The shape of the dress kept changing, going from a mermaid cut to a princess one, with the poofy skirt that she decided she strongly disliked. She felt like she was playdough by the end of the photoshoot, and while she felt like shit at seeing herself in so many wedding dresses, at least Cindy seemed to have enjoyed herself looking at all of them. Her father had cried once, apparently. He knew of their situation, but… he was a father. Who wouldn’t be emotional at seeing their daughter in a wedding dress?

She was grateful that she didn’t have to see the pictures for a good while. She didn’t know how long it would take until they got on TV, and honestly? She didn’t care to know. It will be painful to see herself pretending, that much she knew. Pretending to be in love, thrilled to be able to try dresses on to see which one she would wear at the wedding she apparently was looking forward to. She thought she would have a little longer, when Cindy got through that door, the day after.

“They announced a mandatory show!” Cindy was beaming, eyes bright. At least one of them was excited at the idea of a wedding. She supposed there was that. “It’s got to be the photoshoot!”

“They literally did it yesterday, there’s no way in Hell that it’s done already.” She sounded desperate, as if she was trying to convince herself it wasn’t the case. There was a voice in the back of her mind that was telling her it was possible, even if she didn’t want to believe it herself.

“Well, it’s what I like to think.” 

When 7:30 came around, Cath’s stomach dropped to her feet when they opened the TV. Caesar was there, in all his glory, right in front of the Training Center. He was laughing and waving at the crowd, smiling as he announced her upcoming wedding. Cath’s mind was swimming when Caesar brought Fritz on-screen to greet them, talking to them like a star. It’s what they had become after all, with the costumes they had designed for her and Lukas. Her breath was short as she watched the pictures of herself in the six dresses, pretending that this was okay. That this was what she wanted. She clutched Cindy’s hand in her own, squeezing it a little. She hated this. She hated seeing the people of the Capitol voting for the dress, she hated seeing how much they were enjoying something she didn’t.

“Let’s make sure that Catherine Harrison gets to her wedding looking absolutely radiant!” Caesar laughed out at the intention of the crowd, who cheered on loudly. She felt like her eardrums would burst, even though the sound coming from the TV wasn’t all that loud. She was about to close the TV with a shaking hand, but she stopped herself when Caesar went to announce something else. The other important thing. “This year, we get to see the 75th anniversary of the Hunger Games, meaning we’re going to go through our third Quell!”

“...So?” Cindy whispered, still holding Catherine’s hand and squeezing it a little. “It’s gonna be in months.”

“They’re probably gonna read the envelope,” Marcus pointed out the obvious. He was sitting next to them, chin in hand, and looking absolutely bored out of his mind. This was not something he enjoyed. He had no interest in wedding dresses or anything of the sort, so the whole show had been boring to him, to say the least.

Catherine’s heart was beating hard in her chest. So hard, she wondered if the others could hear it. She was stressed out of her mind as she squeezed Cindy’s hand, trying to calm herself down a little.

_“At the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Games, to not forget that it was the rebels that had shed the first blood, each District had to vote the tributes they sent into the arena.” Snow began._

The silence was heavy in the room.

_“At the fiftieth anniversary of the Games, to remember that for each Capitol resident killed, two rebels died, each District had to send two times the usual number of Tributes.” Snow continued._

“I had a friend sent that year,” This time it was her father that spoke up. Her sweet father, who rarely talked anymore. Granted he had started speaking a lot more recently, but it was still a surprise to hear him talk, especially now when they were talking about the Games. About the eventual death that would come. They waited for a name, but… none came. 

_“Today, we are preparing to hold our third Quell.” Snow reached into the box a little boy brought over and took out the envelope with the number 75 written on it. “At the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Games, to make the rebels remember that even the strongest of them weren’t able to make the Capitol fall, the male and female tributes of each District will be reaped among the surviving Victors.”_

And just like this, her world crashed around her.


	8. Part Eight

Her world truly was crashing around her.

She thought she had finally escaped the arena. She thought she could be on her way to healing, despite knowing there would be many years of hurt before that could happen. She thought she could finally allow herself to move on, try and not allow the arena to control her mind. But she was wrong, wasn’t she? She truly never left the Games. The Games began the moment she had walked in on that last interview. The Games of Survival had truly begun then, outside of the arena.

And, this would be part two. This would be part two, and she knew she wouldn’t walk out of it this time around. She wouldn’t be leaving this alive, breathing and walking. She would be leaving in a coffin, to be buried six feet under. Because they wouldn’t allow them to pull the berry trick again, that much she knew. They would kill her with no hesitation. So, her job would be to make sure Gabe and Lukas went back home. It would be to make sure her two best friends got to live, while she rested forever.

“You can’t go back,” Marcus was the first to speak up, soon after the show finally ended. Her father had closed the TV almost by reflex, his eyes still wide and staring at the screen. They were all scared out of their fucking mind. Her brother especially, as he stared at her, with shining eyes. Tears. Those were tears, she realized. “You _can’t_.”

“I don’t have much of a choice, Marcus,” Her voice was… oddly calm, as she spoke. She had already accepted her death, hadn’t she? It was only a matter of time, anyway, if the way Snow kept acting meant anything. It wouldn’t have surprised her if she had died under ‘mysterious consequences’ soon after her marriage. She was a ticking bomb, a bomb that he needed to get rid of as soon as possible. And, considering she was going back to the Games, she just knew she would be killed by one of the tricks the Capitol had up their sleeve. “I don’t want to go back, either.”

“You could run away!” The boy insisted. His voice was shaking, and he was very obviously trying not to let the tears fall. He moved and hugged his sister tightly, as tight as he could. He was taller than her, now. She supposed she had at least seen the day he would outgrow her before she died, she supposed her brother had at least gotten the chance to tease her about it before she fucking died. “You could hide in the woods, you know how to hunt-”

“Marcus, I _can’t._ ” She insisted. If she ran away, then it wouldn’t surprise her if they sent two boys in the arena. They wouldn’t care. And if two boys were sent, then it would mean Gabe and Lukas fighting, and one of them dying for sure. It would also mean Snow eliminating her family and theirs, it would mean so much death just because she refused to go back. She hugged her brother back, tough, and turned her head a little towards Cindy. “Go to your brother’s house. Slap some sense into him if he’s getting drunk, yeah?”

“He probably is, to be honest,” Cindy grumbled, but got up and grabbed her coat. She was looking sadly at the brother-sister duo, and then at Charles, who was still on the couch, looking at his children with such heartbreak in his eyes, Catherine just knew it was a matter of time before tears started falling. 

“I know. I’ll do something about it tomorrow.” She promised, and rubbed her brother’s back a little, to try and calm him down. This was a promise she would keep up. She would find a solution, and a plan was forming in her mind. If they wanted to live, some actions would need to be taken. But first, she needed to spend whatever time she had left with her family.

“You said you weren’t going to leave this time around,” Marcus was clinging to her. Her father joined them on the floor soon after that and brought both of them in a hug. She could feel her father’s tears in her hair, but she didn’t acknowledge them. Her father had never been a big fan of being pointed out when he cried. So, she respected that and tried to keep her own tears down. Be strong. Be strong. “You said you were there for good. You can’t fucking go back, Cath, you _can’t._ ”

“I know. I know. But I’ll come back again, okay? Just like I did the first time.” It was a lie. She knew it, her brother knew it, her father knew it. But, lies felt good at this moment. It felt like a reassurance, a moment where they could build a world around them that was more merciful than it was. The words were like a blanket over your shoulders, a kiss on your cheek, and a pat on your hair promising that everything would be fine as it always was. But… they all knew it wasn’t the case. They still comforted themselves with the illusion, if only for tonight. “I’ll come back, and we’ll wrestle again on Saturdays, I’ll teach you about which plants you can and can’t eat… I’ll come back.”

They stayed silent after that. She supposed one positive thing in all of this was that her brother could skip a year of Reaping. One more year where he would stay safe. This was one more year of safety for him, and she knew that despite how heartbroken their father would be, he would take care of Marcus. She also knew that Marcus would be able to find food for them easily, after all, he was able to hunt. If they were careful, if security went down after the Games once she was dead, he and Violet might be able to hunt in the woods and bring back meat to sell to stay alive. They would be fine, as they always were.

When Cindy came back, she pretty much confirmed what they all knew. Gabe was drunk out of his mind. Lukas had been with him apparently, and he was just as intoxicated. She had left soon after they had started drunk flirting, probably riding the wave that was forgotten memories. Alcohol helped forget, or so they said. It’s not like she hadn’t done it herself before the Games, anyway. Drinking soon before the Reaping, hoping to forget the horrors that were those stupid fucking Games. But now, she couldn’t allow herself to do it. She didn’t know if she could stop if she began. 

The next morning was when she put her plan in action.

She put on her old hunting clothes, neutral colors that would fade well into the crowd of miners that left soon in the morning to go and earn their daily bread. Unlike them, however, she wasn’t going with them. She followed them for a little while, talked with the few workers she knew, and faded into a small alley that she knew would give onto the place she was searching for. The Hob had burned, yes, but it hadn’t stopped some of the sellers to continue their work. Some took to the alleys, finding dark corners where they knew the Peacekeepers would never look, and some sold right from their basement, hiding whatever they could in baskets that would look like they had come right from the bakery or the candy store. The Peacekeepers never looked in those.

Ripper had been caught once and had done her time in jail, but the moment she had gotten out, she had started selling again. And, Cath knew where the woman was. She had stumbled on her new corner one time by accident. She sold right out of boxes, not even bothering to have a proper stand put out. If she had one, there were high chances she would have been caught quicker than she had been the first time.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Catherine.” The woman grinned, and the few teeth she had left were yellow from age. Her voice was rough from smoking and drinking, and she looked like she could collapse at any moment. She was intimidating to younger children, but to those that knew her, they knew that she was kind enough when she wanted to be. And, she was especially sweeter if you were on her good side. Such a shame Cath would probably be ruining that. “What can I do for you, girl? Finally turning to drinking with the wonderful announcement we had?”

“No, actually.” Cath shrugged and crossed her arms as she leaned against one of the walls of the nearest home. She stared at Ripper with her brown eyes, the usual warmth gone, and replaced with a coldness that she reserved only for the people that annoyed her the most. “You’ve got quite a good store there, Ripper. It’s been doing especially well considering you got caught for the first time…”

“...Where are you going with this, girl?” Ripper squinted at Catherine, her gray eyes shining with suspicion. Ripper was a sweet enough woman when she wanted to be, and she could be quite smart, but by God she was slow. Maybe it came with age or something. Or, drinking too much. Ripper did look like a woman who constantly had one hand on the bottle, ready to take a swig at any minor inconvenience.

“I’m just saying it would be such a _shame_ if someone were to out it to the Peacekeepers.” She shrugged and picked at her nails casually. "We both know it won't last a second, or a third revival..." 

“You wouldn’t _dare-_ ” Ripper hissed, straightening a little, and glaring fully at Catherine. She wanted to wince at it, especially considering they had been on good terms before and now it was clear they wouldn’t be anymore, but… it was necessary. It was necessary for her plan, to make sure they were ready for the work that would come ahead of them.

“I would actually,” She cut Ripper off with a snap, and tried to look unbothered under her glare. “But of course, we could make a deal. I won’t out your store, if, well… you don’t sell any alcohol to Gabe and Lukas.”

“No way. The Gabe boy is one of my best customers-”

“I’ll give you some money in compensation.” Cath cut Ripper off again and stretched a hand out towards the old woman. Ripper stared at it for a little while, before glaring and shaking it reluctantly. Cath got some money out and handed it to the woman, with the sweet smile of a woman who had gotten her way. “There. Have a good day.”

Then came the next part of her plan. She went back inside her house and took out the few bottles she had stocked away just in case, and went back into her yard. She dropped the box on the ground, took out the first bottle, and muttering an apology to Gabe and Lukas for what she was about to do, she uncapped it and poured it on the grass. It was a lot of money she was wasting this way, but it would be worth it. It would be worth it if it meant two of them came back to this shitty hole of a District and lived.

“Alright, you motherfuckers better be awake!” She declared as she entered their house, and slammed the box of empty bottles on Gabe’s table. Lukas and he were in a bad state. Definitely, nursing hangovers, if the glare she received from the both of them meant anything. “Neither of you are gonna drink again any time soon.”

“...What did ya do.” Lukas was staring at the box, then back at her. His tone of voice then turned urgent, when she first didn’t answer. “Catherine, what did ya do.”

“I emptied the fucking bottles of alcohol in my yard.” She said calmly and avoided the weak attack that came from Gabe after that. It was a weak punch, one that she would have had no trouble blocking even if he wasn’t hungover. “And, I fucking talked to Ripper. I’m outing her the moment she sells alcohol to either of you.”

“You had no fucking right to do that-” Gabe was angry. Of course, he was fucking angry. She couldn’t blame him, she had just thrown away whatever source of alcohol he had left. Alcohol she had stocked away for _his dumb ass._

“Why the fuck did you even do it?!” This time it was Lukas’s turn to get angry. Her expression remained neutral, even if it hurt to have two people angry at her now. She had expected Lukas from anger, too, but she wasn’t… prepared for it. Gabe’s anger, she was used to. Lukas’s? Not as much.

“Because we can’t have drunks in that arena!” She finally snapped and slammed her hands on that table angrily. Some part of her wanted to break down and cry, while the other was flaming with a determination she didn't even know she could have. It was obvious she would be the voice of reason in this considering she had two hungover men on her hands, and honestly? She did not mind it too much. It gave her the opportunity to forget her imminent death sentence. “Two of us will go back to this fucking District. One a winner, the other a mentor. And we can’t fucking do that if one of you is fucking drunk in that damn arena!”

A moment of silence, a moment where she breathed heavily, trying to calm down again.

“You two better get fucking ready.” She took a step away from the table, fists clenched next to her body as her eyes hardened with a will only a madwoman would have. Perhaps, she was indeed, mad. But it did not matter to her. Not now. “Because we’re gonna fucking train like Careers.”


	9. Part Nine

“He won’t stay angry forever, you know,” She commented, trying to keep her voice soft as she watched Gabe walk away. He was fuming, that much was obvious. Not that she blamed him. She didn’t like having Lukas in the arena, but she wouldn’t have liked having Gabe in there either. Even after all these years, he had yet to recover from his own Games, and while it irritated her a bit at times when she was suffering too, she knew that having him back in there would cause him to leave with his mind even more scarred than it had been before. He would sink back into himself more than he had done before. So... truly, it was a situation where neither options were good. “If he insists on staying mad, tell me. I'll go slap some sense into him. Not the first time I've done it, I'm willing to do it again."

“Yeah.” Lukas was still obviously feeling down from that whole spat. He crossed his arm as he remained beside the window of the train, watching the forest of District Twelve pass by them at lightning speed. She moved to go next to him, and stared out, too. Though while Lukas was obviously trying to forget this whole fight, she was saying goodbye. Goodbye to the forests she had known for most of her life. She wouldn’t be seeing them again, that much she knew. “He's just… does he really think I want to go back in there?! Of course I don't, but I don't want to see him in there either!" 

“I know. I don't either, honestly. I don't want to see either of you in there, but it's not really my fucking choice to make.” She muttered bitterly and kept looking outside. She wondered what it would do to him now, to go back home with a friend in less. What it would do to lose someone in that arena. She will try to stay alive for as long as she could, but the moment she has to die for Lukas, she will. Lukas would be going back home, no matter what. “He should realize soon enough the both of you will be going home together. Go see him in an hour, or something... he should have fucking calmed down by then.”

“...You’ll be going back home, too.” He was looking at her now. With light suspicion, maybe. He couldn’t possibly think that they would both leave, did he? He couldn’t… be thinking that, right? One of them would die in there. And it wouldn’t be him. “Right?”

“Yeah.” She lied, a fake smile pulling at her lips. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just asking.” He still sounded a little suspicious, but less so. God, had she really become such a good actress in under a few months? Had she really become so good at pretending that even her best friend couldn’t see it? Had that really happened? Apparently so, because he didn’t question it anymore. She supposed it was better this way. She preferred him thinking they still both had a chance at getting out than only him and feeling guilt from the start because of it. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Learn who the other fucking Tributes are,” She said simply, before looking back out the window. “And figure out their strategies. Learn who they were, how the Capitol likes them. If we can use that against them… it’ll give us another chance to win.”

After dinner came time to see the other Reapings. Normally, she wouldn’t bother remembering every single Tribute. After all, she had forgotten most during her first Games. But this time around, she couldn’t afford it. Whatever she forgot could be a death sentence for Lukas. It could mean _her_ death, way earlier than she had in mind, and causing her to not be able to protect Lukas as long as she hoped to. She couldn’t afford that. So, she listened, and she tried stocking away as much information as possible, and she took notes.

There was a brother and a sister from District One. They had been both unlucky to be chosen two years in a row, but lucky enough to win their years. They would be dangerous, especially considering they were Careers, but she knew that they would get more dangerous the moment one of them died. A sibling always does what they can to protect their other siblings, no matter how much they get on each other’s nerves. It was almost a rule. So, they would be people to watch out for.

Then there was someone who had volunteered, a tall guy from District Two who was named Brutus. He looked to be in his forties, and despite the age, he still looked ready to throw down, if his excitement meant anything. How anyone was willing to go back in that arena for fun, she had no clue. She genuinely had no clue. She added a red dot next to their names like she had done for District One, showing that they would be especially dangerous. Anyone who got fun from being in the Games screamed danger to her.

For District Three, there was Jessica Flores. She was smart, there was no denying that. She had gotten quite a high score, and during her interview, she had pinned Caesar to his seat by proving all the facts he had thrown at her were wrong. She had explained why, too, and had pretty much given the man a class under three minutes. It was no wonder she had won this way. She could also faintly remember her from Reyna's games. She had made an alliance with her for a little while, though it had... eventually been broken. The male Tribute, in his case, was nothing special. He had won, yes, though it was... dumb luck, like everyone, but also the way he had won had nearly signed his own death warrant. He had looked close to passing out on that stage, so there were high chances he wasn’t a risk. But then again, it was yet to see. Strategies start early on, after all.

There was James Wheeler, for District Four. He had won at fourteen, which was quite an exploit in itself. Tributes this young usually died in the arena, but instead, he had thrived. He was back in the arena, and she knew he would be dangerous too if he had won at such a young age. The woman selected for Four was a blonde who looked in hysterics as she stood there, and she obviously was losing her god damn mind at having been selected. Though, she had quickly been replaced by an old woman in her eighties, who walked with a cane. She probably wouldn’t be dangerous, but she would still need to be kept an eye on.

Then, for District Seven, the only female tribute possible was Amy McNamara. She had won by pretending to be a scaredy-cat the whole time but had revealed to be a danger in the arena. She had won easily because of that, and while she couldn’t use that strategy again, the girl was definitely still dangerous. She earned herself a red dot next to her name.

Then for District Eight was the woman Effie had cried for. A woman named Cecelia, who had needed to be pretty much taken from her three kids. Cath couldn’t remember much about her, but she doubted the woman wouldn’t be a danger in the arena. The man Tribute for District Eleven was someone who had lost his hand in the arena. He apparently had never bothered to take a prothese, as Lukas had.

Then came their turn. She had been called first, and she could see herself walking to the stage. Had she really looked so sure of herself? Had she really looked like a woman who knew she was walking to her death and had fully accepted it? Apparently so, because only now did she see the sad smile Effie had sent her way. Soon after that, Gabe was called. Gabe, who hadn’t even gotten to take a step forward before Lukas volunteered. The lot of them knew why, of course, but the woman commenting on the Reaping just sobbed, talking about how brave it was for Lukas to go back in there with his fiancé, the love of his life.

Yeah, they both cringed on that couch.

“...You should get some sleep,” She commented slowly after Effie left for the night. She already knew she wouldn’t sleep. Besides, she had tapes to watch, tapes of previous Games. She had to see where was their competition strengths, after all. “Go to Gabe for the night. This is probably the only chance you have left before we get to the Capitol.”

“What, are ya trying to push me away?” Lukas lifted a brow as he looked at her, fake hurt making its way to his face. It was more dramatic than it had to be, and it got a small snort and a smile out of her. It only caused him to push his performance a little farther, bringing a hand to his chest, as if her words had truly stabbed him to the heart. “I’m hurt, Catherine. Pushing me away, when we both may die in that arena! What would the Capitol think!”

“Oh, go fuck yourself.” She laughed harder and punched him on the shoulder harshly. They probably shouldn’t be joking about that, but… God, it felt good. It felt good to pretend things would be fine for a moment, that she would be coming back home with him. That the three of them would be going back to the District. That she wouldn’t die out there. “Seriously. I just wanna watch some stupid fucking tapes for a while and see what strategies we could build.”

“...I’ll stay with you,” He declared, his tone turning a little serious. She hadn’t expected that one, but… She supposed that having someone else with her for a little longer wouldn’t hurt. He probably would fall asleep by the second tape, but it was of no matter. Having someone else with her, someone who would probably be able to see things she didn’t, would help. “Come on. I want to watch that tape for the guy from Four.”

“The guy from Four, uh?” She sounded deeply amused as she got up and looked through the box of tapes Effie had left on the coffee table for her. She still dug through it, and once she had found the one with James’ name on it, she blew the dust off of it, and plopped it in the player, before coming to sit back down. “You should be fucking ashamed, you got a boyfriend!”

“You got no room to talk, you bitch!” He slammed her over the head with the nearest pillow, causing her to screech over the beginning of the video. It wasn’t all that important anyway, just an intro, and because of it, she grabbed another pillow and smacked him right back, causing him to start laughing. Loudly. “I saw you ogle the girl from Three! Pretty girl, uh?”

“She’s not just pretty-” She was about to begin a rant when she deadpanned at the wiggling eyebrows she got for trying to defend her. She just flipped him off after that and opened her notebook and clicked her pen open, much to Lukas’s exasperated and amused laughter. He kept poking at her ribs, trying to get her to say more. “No. No, I’m not fucking saying more than that, you’ll use it against me you absolute fucking bastard.”

“No, I won’t.” He stayed silent for a little while, before sighing and nodding. Apparently, he had realized that she wouldn’t, indeed, be saying more. “Okay, I totally fucking would, but that’s not the point here-”

“Indeed I knew.” She hummed and slapped him behind the head. “Now shut the fuck up and listen, I got to take notes.”

“Bitch.”

“Bastard.”


	10. Part Ten

She felt dangerous for the first time in a good while.

Fritz had finally changed her style from innocent and sweet, to a walking flame that burned everything in her path. She was a grieving woman on her path to Hell, she was a woman who walked headfirst on a battlefield with nothing else but her bow and arrows, no armor on her back, and ready to rain her anger on those that had caused it. She was a bomb ready to explode, and while normally she would hate feeling that way, right now she felt like it was what she was supposed to be. She loved it to bits, and she held her head high as she walked in the black outfit, makeup so sharp it could cut rock. She walked right to her Chariot, ignoring the looks she got from the other Victors. She was in her element, and she refused that they would ruin it.

“Well shit, you don’t look like a peacock with rabies anymore,” Was Lukas’s greeting at the sight of her. He had an amused grin on his face, and his eyes were twinkling despite the irritation that she knew he was holding right now. He was back to short hair, and his face was once again no longer ridden with acne. He had nearly the same outfit as her, though it only held a few changes. “You look like what you are. A whore grieving her sixth husband in less than a year.”

“I’m disappointed the ‘white girl’s dog named snowball’ look is gone,” She sighed dramatically, before grinning herself. She was fully aware of the impression this was giving on the other Victors, but she didn’t care. They didn’t act like an engaged couple at all. But, she would be damned if she acted in love for what was possibly the last good week of her life. She would make sure they stayed true to themselves for as long as possible. Lukas was her best friend, and they would act like best friends. As often as they could, anyway. “It was better than the ‘cheap stripper found in a dark alley’ look you got going on right now.”

“Ow,” He fake winced and brought a hand to his chest as if she had truly wounded him. As if her words had been a dagger, and that she had stabbed him multiple times, leaving a bleeding heart behind her. Not that it was the case, she knew that. They did that so many times, she was used to it. They never meant anything by it. “Insulting your own fiancé like that, how dare you!”

“You just did the same damn thing so shut the fuck up-”

“Hello, Catherine,” A voice said from behind her in greeting, cutting off whatever shit she was about to say next. Probably another insult, as she usually did. Instead, it caused her to whip around, and raise a brow at the sight that awaited her. James Wheeler, from District Four. She didn’t think he would be the type to come and talk to two total strangers, though… strategies, strategies. If he learned about them, he could most likely use whatever he could against them. He was looking at her, his head tilted to the side, before looking up at the blond behind her. “Lukas.”

“James.” She greeted back and continued staring at him. She seriously knew what expression was on Lukas’s face right now, probably a mix of confusion, and well… you know that look you get when you stare at someone who is especially pretty? Yeah. It wouldn’t surprise her if that was his face right the fuck now. She turned to pet at the horse, trying to appear casual. “What can I do for you?”

“D’you want some sugar?” He thrust his hand out towards her, basically asking her to take one of the cubes in his hand. This was what you gave to the horses, though… she supposed one couldn’t hurt. She took one between her fingers and rolled the cube around, not even bothering to eat it. She liked having something to fidget with, she supposed. “Usually they’re for the horses, but eh. They got a life to chew on sugar, so… if we want something, why not take it now?”

“An odd way of thinking,” She raised a brow but smirked a little as she stared at him up and down. Ew acting straight. She supposed James was handsome, with brown skin darker than her very own, and curls styled so that not one was out of place. He had never been her type, but she knew that he was practically a living legend up at the Capitol. After all, his beauty is what got him his win. Women sponsor pretty much rushed to give him whatever he wanted and needed, and at some point, he got one of the most expensive gifts ever given in an arena. He had been sent a trident, and after that… it had been game over for all the others. “Suppose I could borrow that outfit of yours, then?”

“Hm, good try, but no.” He smirked, and his eyes drifted to the still shocked blond behind her for a moment, before going back to her. She raised a brow, curiosity swirling around in her mind now. Well, well, well. What did they have here? Another gay in this hellhole? Not that she minded, of course. It would just be a pain to keep him away from Lukas, now. Even in that damn arena. She supposed it meant having a potential ally. “I do like you in that costume of yours. Where did your little girl dresses go?”

“I burned ‘em,” She said without even blinking, completely ignoring the fact he was fucking. Licking his lips, obviously trying to flirt. Or. Just make her uncomfortable. Well, he can try all he fucking want, but she was definitely not into men. So there was no way she would fall, no way she would go hysterical, no way she would blush like a maiden who had been told her first compliment by the charming man next door. James blinked in light surprise at her answer, and the only thing it did, was cause her to smirk. “I didn’t need them anymore, did I?”

“No, I suppose not…” He reached for the collar of her outfit and leaned forward a little, getting too close for her comfort. He rolled it between his fingers as if examining what kind of fabric it was and what surprise it would hold this time around during the Chariot run. He then looked up, and she wanted to cringe at how close he definitely was now. “You would have raised Hell in the Capitol. You could have gotten jewelry, money… anything you wanted, really.”

“Hm, well, you see I don’t want any of that… what I want you is to back the fuck off,” She smiled sweetly so that if anyone looked from afar, the only thing they would see was a girl overly happy from the attention she was getting. In reality, she was definitely stopping herself from decking him right about now. He was too close. Too close. Too close. “You see, if I were to bend my leg up really quickly, my knee would hit a really uncomfortable place for you. Such a shame it would happen, wouldn’t it?”  
“Alright, alright, I got it.” He blinked a little, as if in shock, and his smile was wiped off his face for a moment. Though it quickly came back, and this time it looked more amused than it was from the start. He took a step back, looked up at Lukas one last time, and with a wink, turned on his heels, and started walking away. “I do believe I made your fiancé angry enough, anyway!”

“...I don’t see what you find in him,” She said sharply the moment she turned away, looking over the blond. He was apparently still in shock, and she rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers in front of his face, hoping it would bring him back from whatever wonderland he was stuck in. “You still in there? One pretty boy comes and you fucking lose it?”

“Oh, yeah.” He blinked and looked back at her, smiling a little bashfully. He had obviously been caught doing something he shouldn’t, or at least, shouldn’t be doing in public. After all, they were both supposed to be in love with each other. One shouldn’t be admiring other Victors for too long, or else shit would be going badly for them. As much as she had wanted to fucking stare at Jessica in that outfit of hers, she stopped herself from doing it. Apparently, Lukas hadn’t been able to, with James. “You know, I think he was flirting.”

“Yeah, no shit.” She rolled her eyes, though she was smiling a little too, now as she got up on the Chariot. People started getting in place for their turn to go out and into the Capitol, and she knew that it would quickly be their turn, too. It was only a matter of time. “Were you told the same thing Fritz told me? Don’t smile, don’t wave and look forward?”

“Yep. The exact words for me though were ‘Be a cold bitch’, so I’m going off with I’m supposed to do the same thing as you.” He chuckled and stretched his hand out towards Catherine, definitely requesting to be held, soon after they helped the other lit their costumes on. “For old times’ sake?”

“For old times’ sake.” She agreed, and took it with a smile, before squeezing it a little. She stared at their hands, and she pressed her lips in a thin line. It was probably a bad idea to do it now, but… she needed the reassurance, and now would be better than ever. A promise before the Games. “Can you promise me something?”

"What? You gonna ask me not to kill you in the arena?" He joked, though it held some seriousness. It often happened between Tributes, one to promise the other not to kill them. Or, sometimes, they promised each other to kill the other. After all, dying to a friend was better than dying to a stranger to some people. Though, when he saw her expression, he nodded. "Yeah, what's up?"

"If I die…" She started, and froze when she saw the light panic on Lukas's face. God, if he reacted like that to her saying 'if', how would he have reacted if she had said 'when'? Because it would be a when. She would die. She cleared her throat and continued after a second. "If I die, and you win and go back… make sure Gabe doesn't fall back too hard into his drinking habit. It's bad enough as it is, I don't know how bad it would be, if-"

"What makes you think I'd be able to stop him?" His voice was filled with disbelief. "You literally had to take alcohol away from the both of us for months, if only to train-"

"Because he calmed his fucking drinking and smoking when you came around! No matter what I did after his Games, no matter what the fuck I did, he kept drinking, and he kept almost killing himself because of it! But you came around, and he finally calmed down." She wanted to cry. But she couldn't. Stay strong. Stay strong. "And, I know you can hold a promise. So. Please. I just got my friend back."

"...Okay. I promise." He sounded reluctant. Not that she blamed him. There was the question of her dying, in that promise. She knew she would die, she had accepted it, but Lukas? She had kept that fact away from him so far, and she would keep hiding it for as long as she fucking could. For all she knew though, he was already aware of that fact. It wouldn't surprise her. But if he did, he certainly played the ignorant part well enough.

"Thank you." She smiled, and it was gone soon after that, when their horses lurched forward…

...and brought them in the cheering crowds of the Capitol.


	11. Part Eleven

Catherine laid in bed, staring at the ceiling of her room, mind whirling. She was unable to sleep. No matter how many times she closed her eyes, no matter how many times she tried falling into the dark bliss of her mind, her mind kept providing images of what happened that day. It kept providing images of Gabe’s father, standing right there in front of the dining room’s entrance, now an Avox. She remembered the shock and horror that had appeared on his face as he stared at Jake. Not that she blamed him. Gabe may be mad at his father, he may have decided to ignore his existence, but if there was one thing she knew, was that some part of him couldn’t help but care. Nobody really wished for family to end up as an Avox, a slave of the Capitol.

Catherine, though? Catherine didn’t care. What she saw was a man who had never cared about his children, a man that had never shown love to his son and daughter when they had needed it the most. She couldn’t remember if Jake had gone to visit Gabe before he was sent to the Games, after all, she had been drunk out of her fucking mind, but honestly, she doubted he had. And she was so fucking mad because of it. Some part of her hissed in her ear that he deserved it, while the other kept whispering about how no one deserved such fate. She kept thinking that as the Head of the Peacekeepers, a position that was never well seen in the Districts, surely he had deserved it? But the other part kept adding in, kept saying that surely, less horrible punishment could have been given?

She turned in her bed and rubbed at her tired eyes. How had Jake even ended up here? Sure, he had been replaced in District Twelve, but surely it wasn’t because he had performed treason? Jake had been a stickler for the rules, and she had constantly needed to sneak around him when she came back from the forest. So why the hell had he become… this? Had being removed of his position a second time truly been such a disgrace in the Capitol’s eyes that he had been taken away to become their slave, to make up for his mistakes? It would make sense. They were cruel enough for it, anyway. This would explain why no one had heard of him in months back in the District, too. The Capitol was a lot of things, and discreet was indeed one of them. He had probably been kidnapped in the night.

She wondered if she would be next. If she survived, which she knew wouldn’t be the case, would she be taken away during the night? Would she be turned in an Avox simply because she had again defied death when they clearly wanted her six feet underground? Well, it’s not like they need to be worried anyway. She was going to die in that arena, and she was perfectly fine with it. She would have liked more things secured, she would have liked to make her family promise to not grieve her again, she would have liked to give Cindy some of her things in person, but at least she had one thing done. Lukas had promised that he would make sure Gabe wouldn’t fall back too hard in a drinking habit once she was gone. This made her feel just a little more at peace.

She wondered if she should maybe go up and spend one last night with them. Because if there was one thing she knew, it was that he and Gabe were risking a lot of things in here by sleeping in the same room, despite the fact Snow knew of them. She doubted they were sleeping too, and she wondered if she would sleep properly if she went to bother them, but… she eventually decided against it, when she closed her eyes to try and sleep again. The more she distanced herself from them, slowly but surely, the less it would hurt when she would be gone. This was just one step forward in staying away. Spending her nights alone, in the dark of her room.

She did regret it the next morning when she woke up sweaty, gasping, and coughing from her recent nightmare. While she knew that she should have hurried up to meet up with them to try and make a stupid fucking plan, she also knew that if she went out right now, her wall would crumble right away at the sight of them. It was hard, to keep pretending in here. Pretending to be her usual self when she was a lamb to the slaughter. She wanted to wallow into her anger, into her sadness, sometimes, but she kept her appearance up. She kept smiling and nodding, despite how many times she wanted to deck someone when they said a word that had hurt especially.

So, yeah, that elevator ride with Amy had been hell, the night before. She stood under the warm water, her head leaning against the marble wall, as the sweet words laced with venom that the girl had told her repeated again and again in her head. It had amused her at first, in the elevator, especially considering the woman from District Seven had been fucking naked in there, but… after that last nightmare, that nightmare of her cutting someone’s tongue out, she wondered if there wasn’t some truth in there. She was a predator pretending to be prey. It was a matter of time before that side of her got out again, and she was scared it would in the training center, at the worse time possible.

When the water finally shut off, she sighed heavily, and reluctantly put on her outfit before going out and in the dining room, to fight today’s battle. That battle would be, as it turned out, to not put her face in her hands when she was told to make friends in the Training Center. Pull a Career. Make allies, people willing to watch your back. She didn’t want people dying for her, and she didn’t want to die for people she barely knew. Yes, she liked the District Three girl. No, it did not mean she wanted to be allied with her.

But she still nodded, and with a very fake smile, had gotten up to go to the elevator.

_Make friends._

It couldn’t be that hard, right?

She stood there, watching the numbers shift slowly but surely, and she couldn’t help but think that yes, it would be hard. She would need to become friends with people that she knew would end up buried six feet under, because her mission was to bring Lukas back home. Not watch him die. Lukas didn’t look all that bothered in his case, instead smirking at the idea that he would get to maybe flirt with the guy from District Four. She had told him not to go too strong about it, especially considering they were supposed to be engaged, but she knew that he wouldn’t listen.

What difference did it make, anyway? He could date both Gabe and James if he wanted. It wasn’t her room to judge.

_Make friends._

The doors opened, and she sighed at the few people that were there. Brutus and Enobaria, from District Two. The woman had smiled at them with her shark-like smile, the golden teeth gleaming dangerously under the artificial lights. She had pretty much ripped a Tribute’s throat out with those teeth, and every time Cath saw her smile, she was reminded of that fact. She just hoped that at least she wouldn’t be the one ending up under those teeth. She just at least wanted her death to be quick. She knew that dying to those teeth wouldn’t be.

When ten o’clock came around, there were twelve people missing. It relieved some stress off her shoulders, at least. Fewer people to talk with, fewer chances of her snapping in the middle of a conversation because someone said the wrong word at the wrong moment. She could barely look at spears anymore. She could barely look at nets anymore. Forest fires kicked in her flight or fight instinct. Someone mentioned poison, and she got stuck in a loop. She knew that she would need to get used to those again because of the Games, but, right now... she was a ticking bomb, and too many people around her would threaten to set it off. So, really, she was grateful that twelve people were missing.

She went to the activity she had done the year before, the one with the knots and the traps. The guy had smiled at her when she had approached, and he had mentioned how happy he had been to see that she remembered what he had taught her. He had also decided to show her some more advanced ones, instead, and she had actually begun to somewhat enjoy herself, but someone had decided to come around and try and annoy her again.

“You’re doing it wrong,” James’ voice said from behind her, and he pretty much looped his arms around her shoulders to finish the knot for her. She felt trapped in place. She froze, and when she realized he wouldn’t be moving his god damn arms, she smiled sweetly and elbowed him in the stomach, making him gasp and move back.

“Shit, I’m so fucking sorry!” She wasn’t. She wasn’t sorry. But she didn’t want to be penalized (potentially again, considering her first training during her first Games) and pretending, she would need to do. She turned towards him, expression panicked when in reality, she was fucking cackling on the inside. “I was trying to undo the knot so I could do it myself, see, and I didn’t realize how fucking strong you had done it, and- well. My arm shot back. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” He wheezed and moved to sit next to her. He was smiling a little, obviously more amused than offended. “You got one hell of an arm, uh?”

“Or so I’ve been told,” She smiled, though she knew it looked more like a smirk than anything. The instructor didn’t see through it, however, and simply moved on to ask if James needed help with anything. She watched curiously as he picked up a rope and, well. Pretty much did a fucking noose, that he lifted to show at her. Well, that certainly looked like a threat.

Then she moved to another activity. The fire one. While it stressed her out a little, she knew that she needed to be able to start a fire without matches. The man there took the time to show her how to do it with some silex, iron, and a piece of burnt textile. It looked easy, but despite her best efforts, it took her a good hour to start it up, and when she lifted her head up to smile in victory, it quickly faded away in shock at seeing who was there. Jessica, and the guy from her District. Some man named Angelo.

She had never really talked with Jessica before, and the only times she had truly heard her talk, were the few times at her Chariot and during her own Games. Which, she had taken the time to watch on the train on her way to the Capitol. She had skipped most of the parts with Reyna, but she had watched them nonetheless. She was a lot sweeter than she appeared, and Cath figured the cold smart façade was to gather more sponsors. After all, a dangerous opponent that relied on her intelligence would surely gain more sponsors than a sweet woman that created to help the others around her. Because she truly was sweet. God, she would be hard to kill in the arena now, wouldn’t she?

“It calculates the density of the fabric and selects the resistance of …” Angelo began, but quickly cut himself off to look at something else, his mind apparently gone now. Cath was used to it by now. It wasn’t the first time it happened. She wondered if it was the stress of going back in the Games. Because he truly had looked stressed out of his fucking mind during his Reaping, so it wouldn’t surprise her if his mind was coping in one way or another.

“It selects the resistance of the thread,” Jess ended for Angelo, her voice sweet and patient. “Automatically. It can avoid human error, and allow us to finish everything more quickly.”

Then she had begun talking about her own invention, a small chip, small enough that it could be hidden in a piece of glitter. It could hold hours of music, and at the mention of it, Cath frowned a little. Hadn’t Octavia mentioned that? Maybe…

“Oh yeah, that fucking thing.” She nodded, humming. “My preparation team kept talking about it, a few months ago. They kept whining that they weren’t able to get any. Something about the production chain in Three slowing down, right?”

“That’s… right.” Jessica tilted her head to the side, now staring at her with her blue eyes. The previous sweetness and patience were gone, instead replaced with sharp curiosity. Cath felt as if she was being stared right through, as if the strawberry blonde girl knew everything from the start. It was terrifying. “Did your District have any problems with coal production?”

“No. Well, not really. We did lose time because of the election of the new Head of the Pacificators and his team, but nothing too bad. For the production, I mean.” She shrugged, almost casual. “We just stayed in our home for two weeks, starving.”

“That’s a shame,” Angelo began. He sounded disappointed. “I found your District very…”

“...Interesting,” Jess finished for him. “We both thought it.”

Then, when they finally moved activity, Angelo stopped and nudged towards where the Judges drank and ate, with little to no bother in the world. He had shown her a small trick, something she knew would be useful in the arena. A weakness in the shield. As she stared at the small blurry spot that showed the fake, invisible wall, gears turned in her brain.

She turned back to Jessica and Angelo, and she made a decision.

Maybe having some allies in there wouldn’t be too bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, fun fact! A name has been changed in Part Two, so do go check it out before you continue reading ;)


	12. Part Twelve

“You mind telling me what the fuck you did to get half the victors asking for an alliance with you?” Had been Gabe’s first words at her the moment she entered the dining room, Lukas following along. She raised an eyebrow at his question, and he simply sighed a little. He was obviously still a little bit drunk if the fact that he was this straightforward meant anything. “I doubt your personality is what reeled them in.”

“Oh, go fuck yourself.” She rolled her eyes, though she definitely more amused than anything at that last part of his declaration. That last part of his statement definitely showed he was still drunk. She knew she wasn’t the kindest at first, she knew that she could be intimidating as hell if she wanted to be. She had crossed her arms, though, and drummed her fingers on her forearms. “Honestly, I don’t even know myself.”

“They saw her shoot for the first time,” Lukas snorted, before continuing. “And so did I. Remind me not to make her fucking angry.”

“Yeah, that explains why Brutus asked for you, then.” Gabe pointed out, before crossing his arms. He was obviously about to say something else, but she cut him off before he could even get it out.

“Yeah, no, I’m not making an alliance with Two.” She said simply. She didn’t trust the guy. She didn’t trust anyone who got enjoyment from being in the arena. It’s not that the guy was a Career, necessarily, but… there was a look to him that she did not like. “I am interested in an alliance with Three, though. And Mags. Mags was nice.”

“I figured.” He sighed again, and immediately went for the wine. “I’ll tell them you didn’t make a decision yet.”

\-----

The next two days were… odd, to say the least. People had stopped mocking her, or at least, had calmed down on it. She felt like she belonged to the group of Victors now, especially with her archery demonstration the day before. She hadn’t realized how doing something she loved to do to forget for a few minutes would bring her so many opportunities, or would allow her to get closer to the other Tributes. It was reluctant, of course. She did not want to get closer, she did not want to feel guilt when she would kill them in that arena. The only people she had done an exception for had been Jessica and Angelo, and then again, she hoped every day they would die before she had to kill them. She didn’t know what she would do if she had to kill them. She didn’t know.

At least she was on better terms with James. He was still very annoying when he wanted to be, he still kept trying to get oddly close, but at least this time he stopped after she stepped on his foot by ‘accident’ a few times. She didn’t know why Lukas kept trying to fucking flirt with him, but she supposed that there had to be something to hold the blond’s interest for so long. James had shown her how to handle a trident, while she taught him a little bit about archery. They were both still shit at the other’s choice of weapon, but at least they were getting… better. Whether that was good or not, she didn’t know. 

The ones from Six had simply drawn on her cheeks when she had gone to the camouflage activity with them. She had left that place with yellow flowers on her cheeks, and she glared at anyone who dared mock it or point it out. They were nice people, despite them being constantly high, so she would make sure that at least their last days here were nice enough. Because she doubted they would last that long in the arena, in their state. She hoped she wouldn’t be the one to kill them. She wouldn’t be able to do it, either. Every instinct in her screamed to protect them instead of attacking them. It was a pain in the ass.

Then came the day where they would be showing their talent to the Judges.

“So, what are you guys gonna do?” James had been the one to ask, the one to take the initiative of starting the conversation. It had been silence and tense before as if the executioner's blade was looming over their heads. She supposed that in some way, it was. They were about to be judged like cattle, see which one was the best out of them, which one would be sent in the slaughterhouse first to die. “We can’t do the same shit we did before, so…”

“No fucking clue,” Cath admitted, after a few seconds of silence from everyone. Apparently, no one had any idea of how to take this friendly conversation. Was it a way to figure out what would be their talent, what they would use so that it could be used against them in the arena? Or was it simply, truly, a conversation between people in the same situation as they were? “I can’t do archery again, so… might get fucking naked and dance. Do a little song along with it, let’s spice it up.”

“Damn, can’t handle being naked in front of your prep team, but you’re willing to be in front of the Judges?” Lukas was the one that joked, and Cath smiled at him overly sweetly before squeezing his hand almost painfully, on top of the table. They were still supposed to be acting in love, and this was one of the easiest ways to do it. Though, honestly, she doubted anyone bought it at this point. If they didn’t, they didn’t mention it, anyway. The light pain only got laughter out of him, and he shook his head, before deciding to answer himself. “Do you think if I fucking juggle I’ll be given something more than a three?”

“Most likely not,” James rolled his eyes, and Cath had trouble keeping chuckle down at the look these two sent each other over the table. While she had told herself it didn’t matter whether Lukas dated two people or not, some part of her had still been worried, and she had taken the time to ask both her best friends if they were truly fine with the James flirting thing. They were, apparently. Oh, the wonders of open relationships.

The next few hours were spent like that, joking about what the fuck they would be coming up with. But, while she had hoped for the light atmosphere to remain for as long as possible, she knew it wouldn’t be the case. Tributes were slowly called to go and impress the Judges. The laughter feels more and more forced as times go by until there was none anymore. Just silence between the few Tributes left until there was only Cath and Lukas left in that room. She wondered if her heart could be heard, from how hard it was beating. She had joked about dancing, yes, but she truly had no fucking clue as to what she would do. After all, her true talent laid in archery. So what the hell could she show that would top that?

“So I’m assuming you still have no clue as to what you’re gonna go with?” Lukas asked after everyone was gone. He had finally taken his hand away, and there were a few nail marks in his palm from when she had squeezed it painfully in revenge. “I have no clue either.”

“Yeah, none.” She sighed and held her head in her hands. Fuck. “You can always go with camouflage or some shit. It’s your strength. It was crazy good, back during our Games.”

“If there’s any paint left after Six,” Lukas groaned, and… remained silent after that. It stretched between the two of them, almost uncomfortably. There were so many things to say, yet so little words. What the fuck were they supposed to do? They were both terrified of going back in there, despite how chill they had been acting so far. They had laughed, they had joked… but now, reality truly was striking back in. Well, for Lukas, anyway. Reality had struck her months ago. 

“Fuck, Lukas, how the hell are we supposed to kill them?” How was she supposed to kill them? She already knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything to Jessica and Angelo. Jessica especially. If she even tried, she knew she would freeze seconds before. She knew she would rather die at their hands than kill them herself. She didn’t know what she would do if they even died. They had become friends. She didn’t kill friends. “I know I wouldn’t have been able to kill Rose, and now I willingly make allies and friends? What the fuck was I thinking?!”

“...Her death was bad, uh?”

“...Yeah.” She sighed and rubbed at her eyes. She wanted to add more, but Lukas had been called after that. She was alone now. She could cry now if she wanted. Get whatever frustration she had out. No one would see, there were no cameras in here. But she couldn’t. God, she knew she couldn’t. The Judges would see, and she knew that somehow, it would change their result on her. She couldn’t afford it. She needed a decent number. Something that would get the attention off Lukas and on her. But nothing too high, either. She didn’t want to die from the start.

When she was called, a scary amount of time had passed. She had wondered what the fuck Lukas had done that could have taken so long, what the fuck he could have done that could have taken this much time from the Judges. Some part of her knew he had done something he shouldn’t have when she entered the room, a strong smell of cleaner wafted through the air. Her eyes almost watered from it. She sniffed a little, coughed, and looked at the mat in the middle of the gymnasium. Uh. It hadn’t been there, last year. They must have dragged it there after whatever Lukas had done, which was worrying in and of itself.

She needed to take the attention off him and on herself. 

She sighed and rubbed at her eyes. Okay. There were some dummies and some rope. There was also some leftover paint she could probably use, and she closed her eyes for a moment, muttering an apology to Gabe for what she was about to do. God, he would murder her once he learned she tried provoking the Judges again. Especially after this, anyway.

She dragged the dummy in the middle, and with the rope, did the noose she had seen James do on that first day. The memory had been blurry, and she didn’t remember everything because he had done it so fucking fast so she had done some guesses, but it had given her a decent enough result. She tied the dummy, lifted him up, and wrote a name on the dummy. 

_Quintus Ambrose_

She smiled a little to herself at the gasps of the Judges, and she didn’t even wait for their answer before leaving. She hoped it would be enough to get the attention off her. God, she hoped it would be enough, as she slowly made her way towards the elevators. A bad feeling was swimming in her gut by the time she had reached the elevators, though… it was only replaced by confusion when she found who was there.

“Jessica?” She greeted in light confusion. She had done her thing hours ago, so why was she here? The strawberry blonde girl was from District Three, so why the hell was she still here? Surely she hadn’t waited for hours for Cath to be done, right? “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough,” Jess answered, with a small laugh, before pressing the button for the elevator to open. She waited for Cath to be inside before entering herself, and closing the doors behind them. She pressed the buttons to their respective floors, and waited in silence for a little while, before clearing her throat and speaking. “You know… you act like a woman who knows she’s about to die.”

“...What does that even mean? And why- why the fuck are you telling me this?” Cath’s heart was beating a little harder in her chest. Of course, she knew she was gonna die. Of course, she fucking knew it. It was her plan all along. She had walked on that stage back at Twelve fully knowing this signed her death warrant. But… she didn’t know why it made her nervous that someone pointed it out. Maybe because she had hidden it for so long, because she had been pretending to be alright for so long. “How the hell would you know that anyway?”

“Because I used to act the same way, for a little while. During my Games.” She shrugged and sighed, before turning to look at Catherine. Her blue eyes were shining under the artificial lights of the elevator, and Cath seriously wondered in that moment if they would shine just as bright under the sun. A bad moment to think about it, maybe. But she didn’t care. “But obviously, as you see, I’m still alive. Probably won’t be for long, anyway.”

“I guess we have that going for the both of us,” Cath answered, laughing a little nervously wasn’t looking away. Why was she not looking away? If Cath looked away, she could still feel her eyes on her, and no matter how much she tried to ignore it, she couldn’t. She couldn’t. When she looked back, the strawberry blonde was much closed than she had been previously. “You’re… a little close, there.” 

“Do you mind?” Jess’s hand was reaching for her cheek. She was leaning in, and Cath realized in that moment it was two questions shoved into one sentence. She was asking for permission.

“No… no, I don’t.” 

She figured it was sad that the first kiss she truly enjoyed, was with a woman that she knew would die in the arena. She figured it was sad that the first kiss she truly enjoyed was days before her own death. She supposed it was sad that for a moment, she wondered if they could all get out and live. But, as all things were, she knew she would end up disappointed. So, she made sure to enjoy this moment. She leaned into it and kissed the freckled girl back, her hands going to rest on Jessica’s waist.

It didn’t feel long enough when the taller woman pulled away. It didn’t feel long enough.

The doors of the elevator opened with a ding. They’d reached the third floor.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the interview, yeah?” Had been Jess’s last words of the night to her, before the doors closed again.


	13. Part Thirteen

She was seriously considering going back on the promise she had made to herself to take care of Lukas, at the cost of her life. Not because she was scared for her life now, after the kiss she had received in the elevator the night before, no. It was because her stupid fucking best friend had told the world they had apparently gotten married in secret and that she was pregnant. Of all the damn things, why a fucking pregnancy? Sure, it would do for some good fucking sponsors, but why a _pregnancy?_ Was the secret wedding not enough? Apparently not, and she was ready to fucking deck Lukas in the elevator for it.

But she never got the chance to, since he pretty much apologized in the elevator. She was still very much angry, though. She was still very much irritated at the fact that now she would need to pretend to be pregnant. That, and if she died for Lukas in the arena, she was certain so many people would be fucking pissed at her (even if she would be six feet under) for not surviving and going back home so that she and the supposed baby was safe. God, how the hell was she supposed to pretend to be pregnant now? The only person she had ever seen every day while pregnant had been her mother when she was still alive, and even then, Cath was too young to remember everything or even understand the concept of it. God, she was fucked, wasn’t she? She was fucked. Even more than before.

Her hands gripped at the feathers of the dress as she waited in the elevator. Her wonderful dress had made the night a little easier despite the start and end of it. She had needed to walk on that damn stage in her wedding dress, a dress she hadn’t wanted from the start, and had needed to go through her interview with it while pretending she was desperately in love. Thankfully, though, when Fritz had given her the signal, she had gotten up and did the thing she had done during her first interview. She had spun, hands above her head, and she didn’t stop despite the smoke she had smelled coming off it. When she had stopped, to the gasps of the crowd, she had become one of her favorite birds. She had become a Mockingjay. A bird that was the product of a species that had fought to survive and had become this. She supposed the only difference this time around is that she definitely would die in that arena, despite her previous fight for her life.

God, she wondered what consequences would befall her family because of this dress and the words that were said that night. She wondered if her family would remain safe, she wondered if her family will have to fight for their lives, too. She hoped not. God, she hoped not. Marcus knew archery, but all the bows were in the forest. Her father was good enough in self-defense, but she knew it would do nothing now. And Cindy? God, she didn’t know what would happen to Cindy. But the only thing she could do now was hope that this night would not hurt them. The only thing she could do was hope that the consequences would fall on her and only her, even if some part of her knew it wouldn’t be the case.

When the doors opened again, Gabe was there, waiting for them.

“It’s crazy out there,” Gabe rubbed at his eyes with a sigh. She had no clue how he was feeling about all of this. “They sent everyone back home and canceled the resume of the interviews.”

“What are they saying?” Lukas asked, a little hopeful. He looked through the window and down in the streets, and he smiled maybe a little hopefully when he looked back at them. Hope. Something so rare to have in here. “Are they asking Snow to stop the Games?”

“I don’t think they know where they’re at. Stuff like that never happened before, and even just contesting the Capitol is a source of confusion for them,” Gabe shrugged a little. “But Snow wouldn’t be able to stop the Games, even if he wanted to. You both know that.”

She did know. She did indeed know, that whatever they did, she would end up dead. She didn’t know why she had hoped that some part of her would live, but… desperation, maybe, and some regret. Regret that she hadn’t gotten to do more with her life after the Games, regret that she didn’t fully enjoy it. But after all, who would have known she would go back in there? None of them did. She listened to Gabe and Lukas talk, and… soon after that, he needed to go.

She hugged him a little tighter than she probably should have. But at the same time, this was her goodbye. This was the only goodbye she could give because she knew that the moment she would come back, it would be in a coffin to be buried back home. She wondered how hard he would take it. She knew he wouldn’t be okay in the beginning, but... at least she knew he would be, eventually. Lukas would watch out for him, wouldn’t he? He’d promised.

And… her own proper goodbye to Lukas had been during the night. They’d stayed together if only to try and get some actual fucking sleep before the Games, but… no matter what she did, she wasn’t able to sleep. So she stayed awake, and she hugged him tight in the middle of the night. Sure, he would be with her the whole time in the arena, but she didn’t know for how long she would be with him. For as long as possible, yes, but she didn’t know how much time she would have to do a goodbye. So, she did it now. When they were still safe, moments before being sent to the slaughter.

Then came the morning. She said her see you later to Lukas, truly wondering if it would be her last. After all, she was a woman with a score of twelve going into an arena filled with other Victors. It wouldn’t surprise her if it was her last. She pulled the combination over her head, the weird fabric felt odd between her fingers and the weird bright fucking pink belt around her waist certainly made her worry. After all, a color like that would make her stand out more easily. Though, maybe it could be used against the others in some way. She’d need to think about it. Her hair was then braided in two tight braids on top of her head, and after that… she felt more than ready to walk into the arena.

“Don’t forget, Girl on Fire,” Fritz told her as they pinned the Mockingjay on her suit. It was reassuring to have this familiar thing on her. They then took a step back, and their eyes shone sadly as they looked at her. “I’m betting on you.”

The glass tube lowered around her, and she mouthed a thank you, hoping that they would understand it. They probably would. After that, she took a deep breath, raised her head high, and waited for the pressure plate to raise her up and into the arena. She waited. And waited. And waited.

Why wasn’t it starting?

Then three Peacekeepers burst into the room. 

Two of them grabbed Fritz by the shoulders and brought their arms in their back, pinning them harshly. The Peacekeepers then handcuffed him, and that was then that Catherine shook out of her shock long enough that she started pounding on the glass. Why the hell were they hurting them?! Were they doing all of this simply because Fritz had modified her dress, were they doing all this simply because Fritz had decided to do a fucking statement? Was it bad enough?

She screamed her throat raw as she watched the officers start beating her friend up, despair in her voice. She couldn’t fucking protect them and she hated it. This was her damn fault, wasn’t it? She had started a movement by accident just by surviving, and Fritz had hopped on it. They had modified her dress because of that damn movement, and because of it, they were being beaten up now. She hated it. She hated it. She only stopped screaming when Fritz was gone of the room, and seconds after, her pressure plate was being raised.

The sun blinded her, and her breathing was harsh as she tried making sense of where she was now. Her mind was swimming from what just happened. She was shaken to her core, and some part of her knew that it was because of the Capitol. That had been their plan, hadn’t it? They could have taken Fritz away during the night but they had decided to make a statement to her. She felt like her head was spinning as she stared at the ground, that was moving around her. 

But it… didn’t feel like ground. Ground didn’t touch her shoes, it didn’t feel cold when it licked her ankles. It wasn’t ground. It was water. A sad place to be, for a Girl on Fire.

_“Ladies and Gentlemen, may the seventy-fifth edition of the Hunger Games… begin!”_

Though no matter how much she tried to focus on the ticking of the clock to try and bring herself back in the game, she wasn’t able to. The ticking made it worse, it made her stress spike as she realized she wasn’t able to focus. Come on, Catherine. Focus. You got something to do here. She tried breathing slowly, and while it was shaky, it helped her a little. She looked around her, trying to find something to focus on. The Cornucopia was ahead of her, at maybe forty meters. Water surrounded it, along with long paths of dirt that separated each little isles. Alright, that was a start. Her world was less of a blur around her.

Next, she looked around her. There was a thin beach beyond the water, and then a thick wall of greenery. She had no clue what stretched beyond it, but she knew that it would most likely be the safest place for her. She was used to forests, she was used to plants. Water? Not so much. She knew that it would make James more dangerous, though. The guy was from District Four and definitely in good shape, so it would take him a matter of time to get to the Cornucopia. She would need to be quick. She checks the water, and with a sigh, realized it was seawater. Okay, so not drinkable. She was about to check for something else, when…

The gong rang around them.

She dived through the waters, and with each breath, swam as quick as she could. She knew that she could keep her energy, but she needed to get there before James. She needed to grab what she could, for her, and maybe for Lukas if he was unable to get anything. When she emerged from the waters, she coughed harshly, but lifted herself up and ran on her shaking legs towards the Cornucopia. She wanted to think about the others around her, but she did not care. She did not care. If she wanted to survive this time around, she needed some form of weapon. She was in an arena with trained killers, she needed something else other than her knowledge to defend herself.

She grabbed the bow and the quiver filled with arrows from the moment she found them, and she was about to grab something else when she heard someone come up behind her. Without hesitation, she grabbed an arrow, notched it in her bow, and her cold eyes stared into the ones of the man in front of her.

“James.”

He was standing there, trident in hand, and a net in his other. He was smiling, appearing relaxed, but… he was obviously ready for action.

“Catherine.”


	14. Part Fourteen

The water made it look like the earth was bleeding. 

As if it had been ripped apart, and as every human did, had bled to death. It looked wounded, it looked _dead._ It was a sight right out of a nightmare as she stood there, high on her tree, looking around and trying to keep her breathing calm. A few bodies were floating around, and already she hated how much death there was. For each of those death, a family member would grieve. Someone would grieve, someone would cry for them. She knew it couldn't be avoided, seeing the Games were what they were, but she still felt sadness for all of those people. And to think one of those people had been killed by James, her very reluctant ally, made her want to throw up. Though she supposed she was somewhat grateful. This had saved her, and it would make her life a little longer. Though she knew it wouldn’t be important in the end.

Now, though. She had to make a choice. James was her ally. He had helped her get Lukas away from his platform, and he hadn’t killed her thus far. But, from what she had seen on that beach, she knew that it didn’t matter. Friends had been made at the Training Center, or at the very least, reluctant bonds had been formed. People had known one another, yet the moment the gong had rung, they had all thrown whatever bonds they had out the window. The number of deaths that had just occurred showed that. But, if there was one thing she knew, is that she had only one friend in this hell hole. 

And he wasn’t from District Four.

She took a deep breath and allowed herself to slide down the tree, trying to calm her beating heart. She shouldn’t be this nervous. He had kept getting close to her at the Training Center, closer than she liked. No matter how many threats she had given, he had kept doing it. No matter how many times she stepped on his foot, he kept doing it. She didn’t know what fucking game he had been playing, but she knew it had irritated her. So, why was she reluctant at killing him? He wasn’t a friend. He was a person she tolerated, at best. She shouldn’t feel bad for what she was about to do. It was a form of mercy. It was killing him before the suffering truly begun, before they had gotten more attached on the basis of survival. She had to tell herself that.

She shouldn’t be feeling slightly relieved that he had the same idea she had when she finally reached the ground. She shouldn’t feel relieved that she wouldn’t kill a person without them putting up some sort of fight. She shouldn’t. Yet, here she was, as she stared at James. One of his hands held his trident tightly in his hand, and he looked at her, his head tilted to the side. He looked like a man that was evaluating his next target, he looked like a man who was wondering what would be the quickest way to put his prey down. Because, once again, that’s what she was in this arena. A prey. She had been one during her first Games, and she was one once again. Things never change, do they?

“So, Catherine.” He began, not even moving from his position. He was deadly still, ready to jump at any moment. She should be terrified for her life, but she was… used to it, she supposed. Something she shouldn’t be, but that was how things were, as a Victor. You got used to things a normal person never would have lived through. You get used to having nightmares, you get used to feeling like a pawn on a larger game that you knew the Capitol was leading. “How are things over there? Are they all holding hands? Did they drop weapons, and made a vow of non-violence?”

“No.” She answered softly, softer than she probably should have. “No, they did not.”

“Yeah. Wanna know why?” He continued, not even waiting for an answer before continuing. His tone took a little sharper turn, as if he was calling her out on being too innocent, too naive. She hated it. She hated it so fucking much, but she kept her face neutral as she stared at him continue talking, hoping she betrayed little to no emotion as he spat his words. “Because the past is the past. None of us became Victors by stupid chance- Well. Maybe except Lukas.”

It wasn’t wrong. It was far from wrong. James had killed that person from Five without blinking, without even flinching. It had been all instinct, that much she knew. It had been the same for her, and she hated herself for it. It had taken seconds for her to become a killer again, it had taken her literal fucking seconds to become what she had feared to be; a damn predator. She hadn’t aimed to the side when she tried shooting Brutus, Enobaria, or even Gloss. She was aiming to kill, and she could remember the disappointment she had felt when she had missed. Why she was just registering that now, she didn’t know. But she hated herself for everything.

She hated herself a little bit more as she stared at him after that, evaluating how quickly she would end up with a trident in her stomach if she did the first move. She stared and stared, her self hatred getting a little deeper the more time passed and the more conclusions were taken. She had been about to make her move when Lukas moved to get in between them. She didn’t know why, but she knew it irritated her somewhat. He should move. He should fucking move. He would end up with a fucking trident through the stomach or an arrow in the skull if he didn’t fucking move.

“How many died out there?” He asked, his voice not even wavering. He wasn’t dumb. He had probably seen the tension between the two of them and figured it would be the only way of stopping them from killing each other. She didn’t answer, and he insisted soon after that. “Cath. How many.”

“...I don’t know,” She grumbled. At least he had stopped her from fucking murdering James right now and regretting it later on. Though her suspicion didn’t stop, and neither did her contemplating. It would be one less person right away, one less person who was a risk and could kill Lukas while she looked away. It was a danger. “I think six. Maybe more. The fighting still hasn’t stopped.”

“Alright then. Let’s move. We need water.”

“We should find some quickly then,” James proposed, with a small sigh. “I’d rather be covered when the tracking starts during the night.”

Right. Tracking. She remembered that from last year. The Careers hunting that one person down, the one person who had been dumb enough to start a fire in the middle of the night. Though it had been cold, so she didn’t blame her too much, but it was still so fucking stupid. It had caused her death, and hearing that the tracking was indeed always a thing in each and every Game made her sigh. So it was a Career thing, uh? So be it. They would need to be prepared for it, then. Even if she strongly disliked the idea of lowering her guard for a little bit around James.

She could feel the thirst turn her tongue sandy. She could feel her heart beating faster in her chest as she slowly dehydrated. She could remember the fear of being thirsty, she could remember it too well. She didn’t want to fear it again, and she certainly did not want to panic around people she didn’t know. Even if she somewhat trusted Mags, she didn’t want to panic around the old woman either.

But problems truly arrived when she realized they had reached what looked like the end of the forest. There was no water. No matter how long they walked, there was no water. Fear struck her. Would it be the same situation as with Gabe’s Games? Would there be truly no source of water that they could drink? She hoped not. She didn’t know what she would do if that were the case. She had nearly died of dehydration the first time, what would she do now?

“Maybe… maybe there’s water on the other side.” She said slowly, trying to keep her voice from shaking. She was terrified. God, she hoped there was water. She didn’t want to die of stupid dehydration, she didn’t want Lukas to die of something she could not control. She didn’t know what she would do if he did.

Though, there was no other side. That much she figured out as they kept walking. She was the one at the end of the line, she was the one the farthest away from them, but she figured it out before any of them that there would be no other side as her eyes drifted to the sky. There was a spot in there, a small square that was blurrier than the rest of the sky. What was it, already? What had Jessica and Angelo called it? A weak spot in the armor.

It took her a few seconds to remember properly, realize what was about to happen, and try and scream a warning.

But it was a second too late, as she watched in slow motion as Lukas’s knife went through a wall of greenery. She watched in slow motion as the blond boy was struck, as a crackle of electricity rang around them, and she screamed as he was thrown back. He threw James and Mags to the ground like simply bowling pins, and all Cath could hear as she rushed over to him was her own breathing in her ears. Everything else was tuned out.

“Lukas?” She said desperately, shaking him far more forcefully than one would for a sleeping person. Her hands were shaking as she brought her hands to his lips, cold and unmoving when he was breathing and gasping only but moments ago. She said his name once again, shook him, and brought her ear to his chest, where her head often rested the rare nights she woke up in a cold sweat from nightmares and he had stubbornly decided to spend the night in her room.

She couldn’t hear anything. No beating heart. Only complete silence, one that she knew brought only Death. This was a sign that he would be taken away soon, this was a sign that the canon would soon ring, this was a sign that if she didn’t do anything soon, she would fail at the one damn thing she said she would do. Protect Lukas at all costs, make sure he goes back home to Gabe. Make sure he lives, even if it means death for her. She couldn’t fail. She couldn’t fucking fail. 

“Lukas!” She screamed again, and with her shaking hands, she shook him hard. When that didn’t do anything, she didn’t even bother wondering how the Capitol would take it, and raised her hand to slap him across the face. Hard. “Lukas, wake up you dumb motherfucker, you hear me?!”

“Let me do it-” James pushed Cath away, and soon after that, went to pinch at the ribs, the small of his back, and other various places before going for the nostrils.

“No, don’t you fucking dare-” She tried jumped on him to bodily tackle him away from her best friend, thinking he was gonna try and fucking finish him off, but the only thing it earned her was a smack in the solar plexus, so hard, it made her hit a nearby tree. Hard. She gasped as she tried to breathe again, and watched helplessly as James pinched Lukas’s nostrils again. She went for her bow and arrow and prepared to shoot him, when he bent down and. Put his lips on Lukas’s own.

What the fuck?

She stared in confusion as James was pretty much kissing her best friend, but shook her head when she realized what was truly happening. He was blowing air into Lukas’s lungs as if simulating breathing. It looked like something he had done multiple times before, and she reluctantly let him work, watching as he did… something, around Lukas's heart after that.

It looked like something her father had done before. One time or two, maybe, but not more than that. In District Twelve, it was rare that people had time to bring their family to her father's. And even then, her father usually dealt with things like burns, wounds, sickness, or malnutrition. Though for James, she knew his world was different. He lived in a place with beaches and so much water, it was no wonder he probably had to learn that until he knew how to do it in his sleep. 

When Lukas started coughing and James moved away, her arrow fell into the dirt as she made her way towards him as quickly as possible. She didn't bother with the possibility that she would be in debt to James right now. Her best friend was alive. He was alive!

"God, you scared me half to death, you asshole!" She screamed, angry, relieved, and terrified. She knew she would probably cry later, but right now all she felt was the usual anger and frustration.

"Holy shit, Cath." Lukas coughed and smiled, as he looked up at her. "That was hot, wasn't it? Think I can get him to do it again?"

"You almost die and that's what you fucking say?!"


	15. Part Fifteen

She woke up to the sounds of a clock.

It sounded a lot like the one at the courthouse on New Year, though not quite the same. She was tempted to go back to sleep after hearing that one, tiredness deep in her bones from everything that had happened during the day, but… no matter how much she wanted to go back to sleep, she couldn’t. She wasn’t able to, the regular fear that came with being in the arena keeping her awake. At least it hadn’t woken up Lukas, or Mags. Lukas needed the sleep from his little death experience that day, and Mags, well… Mags was an old woman. She needed whatever rest she could if she wanted to survive for as long as possible in this shithole. 

“I counted twelve strikes,” James said softly, soon after the clock stopped ringing around them. She moved to sit next to him and nodded with a sigh. This was such a fucking weird situation. She still somewhat wanted to kill him. She still wanted him out of the way, but she knew that she couldn’t do shit about it now. She was indebted to him, and taking his life away would be a dick move. It would also make her stressed out of her fucking mind to have that debt constantly looming over her head, but that… was a detail. 

“Do you think it means anything?”

“I have no clue,” He admitted, simply, and silence came back. Neither of them really knew what to say. What kind of conversation could you have with the person you had considered killing, what kind of conversation could you have with the person that had saved your best friend even if it was in his best interest to let him die? So, silence it was. Silence as they waited for a sign of something, of what could possibly come next. Would they be invited to a Feast? Would the rules be changed, like during her Games? Those thoughts were proved wrong when lightning struck a tree and intense rain began pouring down. Welcome water to those who hadn’t been able to get what they had, she supposed. Thanks, Gabe. 

“...You should try and get some damn sleep, you know,” She said after a little while. James looked exhausted. She wouldn’t be sleeping again any time soon anyway, she knew that. And if he was worried she would kill him in his sleep, well… she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. “I’ll take guard.”

She watched as he moved to go sleep near the entrance of the small hut they had built earlier. Despite her taking guard, despite him probably knowing she wouldn’t kill him, he still kept a hand on his trident as he slowly fell asleep. She sighed a little in sympathy as he moved in his sleep, apparently stuck in the same nightmares they all had. They didn’t control that, did they? They never did. She turned after that and held her bow tightly in her hands, her only source of reassurance in the night. She was alone. She was alone with the starting rain, and she was alone when a new canon rang. Another dead. Another victim of the Games.

Then the rain stopped, and the fog rose.

She watched it with a tilt of her head, her eyes squinting at it. It had to be normal. A cold rain on a warm ground. It was normal, wasn’t it? It looked like it, yet some part of her couldn’t help but watch in worry as it moved slowly towards them, stretching like a beast crawling on the floor, snapping its jaw open and shut as it neared. She continued watching, noticing how… unnatural it looked. Like the flames back in her first arena.

 _Like the flames in her arena._

“Wake the fuck up!” She screamed, getting up and wincing at the small blisters appearing on her skin. It burned so badly. It burned. It burned. “Run!”

James was the first one to wake up. The first one to grab a still mostly asleep Mags, who he threw on his back, before immediately starting to run away as if death was on his heels. Which, it was. It was definitely on their damn heels, as she grabbed Lukas by the arm and dragged him up and away from the nearing wall. She needed to get him to follow James. She needed to get him the fuck away from here, away from the gas that burned so badly when it touched your skin. Even if it was at the cost of her staying behind. She pushed and pushed, yet he was still so slow. 

She didn’t listen to his protests, and just snapped at him and told him to run. Run for his life, because that damn fucking fog was definitely not normal. It was stuff out of her nightmares, and she could smell it get nearer, the sweetness wanting to make her cough from it. It was almost just as bad as Snow’s rose. She knew she wouldn’t forget that smell any time soon as she ran, her feet pounding on the ground and leaving heavy marks of struggle in the dirt behind her. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she watched Lukas stumble on almost every step, tiredness from his near-death experience still definitely affecting him.

The fog was getting closer, closer, and closer with each second. She watched it helplessly as it neared, its hands dragging against the floor, and she could almost see a cruel smile stretch in that smoke, knowing full well of the panic it was causing. It wasn’t alive, of course she knew it wasn’t, but this was another predator. Another thing that wanted nothing else but feast upon poor souls, cackling as it did so. It was just like hunger back in Twelve, it was just like the accident that had taken her brothers away from her in the mines. Some part of her screamed at her to keep going, climb a tree and live, but… she couldn’t. She couldn’t leave her friend behind.

So, she took a deep breath and made her way towards Lukas, and grabbed his hand harshly in her own. His eyes stared into her’s, confusion shining in them. After all, why did she go back to meet up with him, when the beast was on their heels? Why didn’t she continue running to save herself? It’s what she had done during the first Games, hadn’t she? She had run and worried about Lukas later on when she had been safe when a chance of the both of them going back had been waved in front of her like a tasty treat.

“Look where I put my feet. Follow into my steps.” She hissed out, and after that, immediately started moving.

They were moving a little faster, but it wasn’t fast enough. They couldn’t take a break. If they stopped, it would mean death for both of them, as the fog stretched its hands towards them. She wanted to cry from the pain of the acid falling on her, burning her. It wasn’t like fire, and she hated it. She knew what to expect from fire, especially considering she had run from it a year ago. She had survived that fire, she had survived those projectiles. But this? She didn’t know. It started with warmth, but then changed for intense pain, a pain she never thought she would live in her life. She despised it. She despised it so much. Their weird outfits didn’t help, they didn’t offer any protection.

James stopped when he realized that they were far behind, and he looked with wide eyes as he realized how many problems they were having. Though, there was nothing he could do other than keep running. This wasn’t a beast you could slay, it was the only one you could run away from, hoping you would never have to fall to its poisonous jaws. He still continued yelling encouragements, though, he still did his best at trying to keep them running. Cath guided herself with his voice the best she could, desperation pumping in her veins. They needed to be faster. They needed to be, yet, a scream left her lips when Lukas tripped and fell.

She wanted to cry when she helped him up and noticed that half of his face had fallen from the poison. It’s as if it had melted the muscles that held it together. It was horrible to see, and so much worse than the blisters, much worse than the burns. His eyelid fell so badly it almost covered his eyes, and his mouth… it was hanging in a weird way. She wanted to cry in worry, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t.

“Lukas, come on. Let’s keep going.” She gasped out, trying to not panic at the spasms that shook her arm now. It did more than burn. It attacked your nervous system in terrible ways. Terror coursed through her veins, along with a fresh new wave of panic, and she immediately started tugging Lukas forward soon after that. Though there was nearly nothing she could do, as her arms spasmed, tugging him forward too strongly and making him fall again. The fog was a meter away from them. Lukas could barely run. His legs wouldn’t move. James did come back to try and help her move him, but, after a few meters of this, when they’re finally a little bit farther than the fog…

“I’ll have to carry him. Think you can carry Mags?” He asked though she knew it wasn’t a question. She nodded and crouched down so that Mags could climb, and she huffed a little. Normally she shouldn’t have any problems. She had always been strong, but this fucking poison and the lack of sleep must have fucked with her somehow because she had a little more trouble than usual. She still ran after James though when he had placed Lukas on his back, trying not to fear the fact she wouldn’t last long with Mags on her back.

And she was right. She didn’t last that long with Mags on her back. She hated it. She hated it. She tried to ignore it when she nearly fell the first time, able to get back on her feet easily enough, but the second or third time was harder to ignore. One of her legs was becoming harder to use, though she didn’t know if it was because of the poison or because of the fact that she had to carry Mags for this long. When she collapsed, she couldn’t help but feel the stupid fucking disappointment that came with failing. She had failed to do this simple fucking thing. James came back, Lukas still on his back.

“I can’t- I can’t fucking carry her anymore,” She huffed, trying to slowly get back up. “Do you think you can take the two of them? I’ll catch up with you.”

“I- No, I can’t take them both, my arms are dead,” He answered, his brown eyes shining under the moonlight. Tears were gathering at the corners already, but he was obviously blinking them away, as his arms shook next to his body. “I’m so fucking sorry Mags. I can’t carry you.”

Cath could only watch what happened next. It was so ridiculously quick, so absurd to watch she could only scream in shock as she watched. Mags got up and went and planted a kiss on James’s cheek and then Lukas’s before smiling to them sadly and immediately walking nto the thick foggy jaws of the beast. Her body shook so badly as she collapsed to the ground, and Cath couldn’t imagine the pain this death brought to the old woman. Her voice was pretty much gone when the canon rang in her ears, announcing that this sweet old woman was dead. Gone. Another death that she had caused, simply because she wasn’t strong enough.

James didn’t stay for long after that. He started moving, and despite Cath’s shock and the tears in her eyes at the failure that hung over her head, she got up and kept moving despite her pretty much dead leg. She had to keep moving. She had to live for a little longer, despite the want to just stop right there and just… let the fog take her. It would give James and Lukas a chance to move more quickly, and maybe the blond would live for a little longer if she just stayed behind. But, she kept moving. One step in front of the other. Come on.

When the fog finally stopped, she wanted to cry in relief despite how puffy her face now was from the poison. They crawled on the beach, and when they figured out how to remove the poison from their skin, she wanted to collapse from the relief, despite the pain that was caused by the saltwater. They took care of each other. That was the most they could do.

They had survived a little longer.

Their group was now three instead of four, but… they had lived a little longer.


	16. Part Sixteen

Apparently, they hadn’t been the only ones to go through hell.

They had gotten two things so far. The fog and the monkeys. She had thought in the beginning that it had been targeted towards them, especially considering she and Lukas had both gotten a score of twelve for what they had done with the Judges. She had thought this was just another thing they threw in there, something to take them both out for their stupid fucking idea of showing what they knew to these people. So, yeah, she had thought they were just really fucking unlucky that way, but as it turns out, she was wrong.

The first thing that had hit after that was a wave. It was horrible and high, straight out of a nightmare. It had made her think of the avalanche of sand in Gabe’s Games, an avalanche caused to get rid of Titus, a man who had gone insane and turned to cannibalism. Though, she doubted this wave was caused to get rid of someone in particular, someone who had done something they shouldn’t have. This one looked part of a challenge, this one seemed caused just to see if they could get rid of even more Victors. Sure enough, another person died, and they were down to twelve. Twelve people left. She had survived this long.

Then after that, three people ran out of the forest. Her own group hid and watched who the people were. They were in a bad state, that much could be seen. One was being pretty much dragged by the other, and the other was walking in circles as if they didn’t have coherent thoughts anymore. Their skin was crimson red, and they looked like they had gone through hell. Like they had, actually. 

“Who are they?” Lukas was the one to ask first, whispering lowly just in case they would hear. Which, was unlikely, considering how far away they were. “Other Victors or something else, you think?”

“I don’t fucking know,” Cath whispered as she continued watching them, squinting and bringing an arrow out just in case. They never knew, in this damn cursed arena. She tilted her head to the side as the one who was being dragged was pretty much dropped on the beach, the one who was dragging the person angrily kicked the sand before going to push the other one who followed along.

“Amy!” James’s face brightened, and he pretty much ran for the trio after that. Cath watched in surprise and bewilderment. This was the girl who had insulted her and Lukas in the elevator, hitting her with sweet words dripping with venom? This was that girl, and James knew her? Jesus fucking christ.

“James!” Amy screamed right back.

Cath sighed and rubbed at her eyes, before looking at Lukas.

“I suppose we don’t have much of a choice but to go after loverboy, uh?” 

“Not really, yeah.” Lukas shrugged. He didn’t look as bothered as she was and just rolled his eyes as he followed her while she grumbled the whole time. He was aware that she wasn’t a big fan of Amy so far, but at the same time, there were worse people. If James and Amy went along, it meant a possible other ally in this hell hole and a longer chance at living.

“She just irritates me to no end- Wait.” She cut herself through her grumbling and stared at the two people there. The person on the sand had long hair, though, through the blood, the original color could be figured out. It was blonde. Strawberry blonde. And the person turning in circles had the same scar on his leg that the boy from Three had. “Jessica and Angelo. It’s- Oh my god it’s Jess and Angelo.”

“Nuts and Volts?”

“Don’t call her Volts,” Cath snapped, maybe a little harsher than she intended. At the look she got from Lukas for defending her like that, she just glared and crossed her arms. Yes, she would defend Jess. She didn’t care what impression it gave. Cath could remember the first time Jess had been called by that nickname, she could remember the small intake of breath. The strawberry blonde girl had won using an electric trap, and since then, it was what she was known for. It doesn’t mean she liked it, and Cath understood that. Even she was getting tired of just being known as the girl who was so fucking ‘crazy in love’ that she was willing to do Romeo and Juliet style. “She doesn’t like it. She flinches when she gets called that. Don’t call Angelo ‘Nuts’, either. Not his damn fault his brain holds up like it fucking can after those damn Games.”

“Jesus, okay,” Lukas muttered, and they then continued on walking until they got to James, Amy, Jess, and Angelo.

“We thought it was rain, you see, because of the lightning and we were so fucking thirsty. But then it started raining, and we saw it was blood, you know. Warm blood. We couldn’t see shit, and we couldn’t open our mouth without swallowing some.” Amy shuddered a little, though she seemed… little to not bothered. She seemed more disturbed by the blood than anything. “We tried getting out of the forest blind, though it’s then that Blight hit the electric wall.”

“I’m sorry, Amy.”

“Eh, it’s fine. He wasn’t worth much, but he was from home.” Amy shrugged. Blight… He was the guy from Seven. Cath couldn’t attach a face to a name, and she couldn’t remember even hearing the guy’s name at the gym during their training. So, she wasn’t attached to him, but… some part of her felt bad that yet another Victor had died. “Can’t believe he left me with those fucking idiots. The girl took a fucking knife in the back at the Cornucopia. Him, though…”

“Tick tock, tick tock…”

“Yeah yeah, tick tock tick tock,” Amy bitterly spat out, and when Angelo hit her by accident, the girl pushed him away rudely, her brown eyes blazing with an irritation Cath understood well. That doesn’t mean she liked the way Amy fucking took out her anger on them, though. “Think you can fucking stop for a second?!”

“Leave him the fuck alone, would you-”

“Leave him alone?!” She hissed, took a few steps towards Catherine, and before she could even react, Amy slapped her across the face hard enough she saw stars. God that hurt like a motherfucking _bitch._ Cath would slap Amy back, but she was still trying to think over the stinging of her cheek. “Who got them out of that fucking jungle for you, you think?! Fucking-”

James took her before she could start spatting names she would regret, dragging the brunette to the water while Cath dropped her bow and arrows to bend down next to Jessica. She had wanted to go look right away the moment she had been told she had been fucking stabbed, but at the same time, she was still supposed to keep up the romance act, so truly she only had the opportunity to act now, after being slapped across the fucking face. Cath lifted Jess up the best she could while Lukas guided Angelo towards their camp.

While Angelo was sitting in the water, still muttering tick-tock over and over, Cath’s shaking hands removed the belt from Jess’s body and found a thick metal cylinder attached to it. She looked it over, a little bit curious, but as she looked at the pretty much passed out freckled girl, she figured that if Jess found it worth keeping, it must be important in one way or another. So, she put it away, before sighing and rubbing at her face. She would need to remove Jessica’s clothes to wash the blood off and see that wound. So, that’s what she did, though she made sure to do it quickly before putting the clothes back on and moving her to the mat and trying to look at the wound on her back.

“She’s bleeding too much,” Cath said simply, biting her lip as she looked at the wound. It didn’t look infected, which, thank God for that, she didn’t know what she would do otherwise. She didn’t know if she could take it. She needed to take care of it, though. The best she could. She could keep disinfecting it, using saltwater, but she would need something to stop the bleeding. She didn’t have bandages. What the fuck could she even use? She looked towards the forest, frowning when she remembered what Mags had given her when she had finally started crying about an hour after Lukas had nearly died, the realization and sadness finally truly kicking in then. “....Give me a second.”

She ran to the forest and grabbed whatever moss she could from the ground, along with whatever plants that could be used as a rope to hold it in place. She carefully placed the moss when she came back, tied it so that it held tightly, and after that, she managed to make Jess drink a little water before moving her to the shadows.

“I hope that will be enough,” She whispered and moved a strand of hair away from the sleeping girl’s face. She bit her lip as she watched. God, she seriously hoped that would be enough. She knew that they would both die in here, but she hoped that at least she would live a little longer. Just a little longer. It’s all she asked. “There’s not much I can fucking do.”

“...You like her, don’t you?” Lukas whispered with a light smirk, watching his best friend. It was low enough she doubted any of the cameras would pick it up. She hoped none of the cameras would pick it up. She still nodded a little, sighing as his smirk got bigger. She rolled her eyes and got back up, reluctantly moving away from Jess and towards Angelo.

“Don’t look too smug, you’re stuck in the same situation as me with someone else,” She called back. It was vague enough that only he would understand, and she laughed at the satisfied smirk that appeared on his face. This man held absolutely no shame, and he assumed it. Her laughter was quickly wiped away from her face though as she crouched near Angelo to help him out of his own clothes to wash the blood off him considering he didn’t do it himself.

“Tick-tock,” He repeated, and he stared at Cath, eyes wide. They were filled with fear, though she assumed it was from the events of the day and the fact he was covered in blood. She didn’t blame him. “Tick tock, tick tock-”

“Yeah.” She answered softly, and washed him quickly, before putting his clothes back on. “Tick tock.”

She was in the middle of trying to get Angelo to eat something when Amy and James came back. The woman drank and ate like her life depended on it, which, she supposed it did. No food would be given to her willingly by other people, in this arena, other than by sponsors and even then there were high chances it would end up being something else other than food. So truly, those were goods that were hard to get. As she ate, James told the story of the fog and the monkeys, with the tone of voice of someone who had detached himself from all of it. It was more analytical than anything, truly.

Then Cath was stuck guarding with Amy. She did not plan to speak to the girl during the whole night if she could, but, apparently, the brunette had other plans as she sent a look at James before turning towards Cath and tilting her head to the side. “How did you guys lose Mags?”

“In the fog,” Cath replied rather coldly. “James carried Lukas, and I carried Mags. But after a little while… I ran out of strength. James couldn’t carry two people. She kissed the two boys and then… walked into the fog.”

“Did you know it was James’ old mentor?” She said, her tone accusatory. She spoke as if it had been Cath’s plan all along to cause this, to break an ally and friend’s heart. Her hands tightened on her bow, and she gritted her teeth. She wanted to speak back. She wanted to scream back. She would have continued to carry Mags if she could have, and she felt so much fucking guilt for not being able to. She didn’t need Amy to add more.

“No, I did not.”

“She was practically family…” Amy sighed and shook her head. Her voice was filled with venom, as she continued. “But of course, you wouldn’t know that.”

“...And you, how did you end up with Jessica and Angelo?”

“I told you.” Amy spat, glaring at nothing. “I went to get them for you. Gabe said it was the condition so that we can form an alliance. It’s what you told him, right?”

No. No, it wasn’t what she had told Gabe. In fact, she wasn’t even fucking aware he had done that. But, she was grateful. She was so fucking grateful. She supposed he had noticed she had taken a liking to Jess, she supposed he had noticed how she had begun caring for Angelo. It was one thing he had done for Lukas and her, along with the alliance with James, and she was grateful. God, she hoped he wouldn’t be too bitter when she came back home in a coffin.

“...Thanks.” She whispered, holding back tears. Jessica was able to live a little longer because of this. 

“Yeah. I sure fucking hope so.”


	17. Part Seventeen

Catherine despised the screams.

They hurt her to her core, they made her want to curl up and cry for days on end. They made her feel like a bigger failure, something she had definitely been over the past few days. It made her fragile glass heart shake and threaten to shatter as the screams rang in her ears. They were the screams of someone she had sworn to protect, they were the cries for help of the one person who was the reason she was even in this mess in the first place. Her little brother, Marcus. He was the reason she even volunteered for the Hunger Games, and his screams right now in this stupid arena made a primal fear awaken in her. 

“Marcus!” She screamed, trying not to cry as the screams continued to ring around her, with no sign of stopping. Why was he here? Had she failed so badly that Snow had decided to take him in here so that she could suffer even more before she eventually died? Was she really such a damn failure that something like this was being done to her little brother? “Marcus! Marcus, hold on, okay?!”

She felt like she was back in her first arena. She felt like she was running through the woods again, hoping to get to Rose in time before she died. She wondered if she would find her brother in the same situation, stuck in a net that he could not escape. She wondered if when she would eventually find him, because she _would,_ if he would be trapped like an animal and then struck by a spear in the stomach, slowly draining him of his blood as it had happened to Rose. She didn’t want to have to cover her brother in flowers, she didn’t want to have to grieve him.

“Marcus!” She screamed desperately one last time, as she neared the screams. Her feet were pounding the earth, leaving marks of a desperate woman behind her. A woman who was fighting for the life of someone else. When she finally fell through a small clearing, tripping on a root, she scrambled back up and looked around, hands and limbs shaking from fear. Where was he? The screams were right here, and they were strong, so why wasn’t he here? “Marcus?”

When a scream rang around like crystal around her, leaving a crack in her glass heart, sadness turned to anger when she figured out the source. A small black bird stood on a branch, looking at her, as it sang the horrible sound that she had _never_ wanted to hear before in her damn life. Jabberjays. One of the parents of the Mockingjay, and already she decided that she hated them. She despised the pain it had brought on her. She raised her bow, and with an arrow to the neck, watched it crumble at her feet. She twisted its neck for good measure, rage coursing through her veins.

“...Catherine?” James asked as he finally burst into the clearing himself, looking at her with light worry. She supposed it was still odd to see concern from him when they had considered killing each other only but a few days ago. She was somewhat friends with him, now, but his concern was still odd.

“I’m good. Just. Real fucking irritated.” Cath shrugged and wiped her arrow on some moss, trying to keep her hands from shaking. It’s all they had been doing for the past few days. Shaking and shaking and shaking. She supposed it could be a side effect from the stupid fucking poison fog. She hated it. It affected her when she tried shooting, and she always had to keep that fucking fact in mind when aiming now. She hated how it got worse, too, every time her emotions got stronger. “I thought I heard my little brother’s voice, but…”

Her sentence was cut short when another scream rang around them. One she didn’t recognize. It was definitely a young woman’s though, and James’s reaction to it looked so similar to her own reaction, as he ran past her and into the woods, desperation guiding his steps.

“James, wait, hold on!” She screamed, but, he still didn’t stop. He kept running, and to not lose him, Cath ran after him. He wasn’t that hard to follow, considering. He was like a wild, terrified, beast. He left marks behind him, snapped branches, ruined bushes and other such things. So she managed to keep up with him the best she could despite the fact that she was out of breath by the time she had caught up with him.

Catherine stumbled upon him running in circles around a giant tree, looking up in despair as his limbs shook from exhaustion and fear. It was a sad sight, and she wondered if she had looked the same way. The screams kept on, though. The screams rang around them, coming from the leaves above them, but the jabberjay stayed hidden. James only got more desperate the longer it went on.

“Tamara!” He screamed, and Cath frowned a little. The name sounded… familiar. She believed she heard it before, hadn’t she? In an interview with James, maybe. He had a twin sister, didn’t he? Cath’s heart squeezed harshly in her chest. They were both desperate to protect their siblings, weren’t they? So desperate that they were willing to run in the middle of the fucking woods to try and protect them, no matter what they find, no matter the cost. “Tamara!”

She couldn’t keep him suffering like that. She found the nearest tree and climbed it, trying to ignore the screams the best she could as she tried to find the jabberjay. When she found it, she grabbed an arrow from her quiver, and with her shaking hands, aimed at the bird and shot it, watching as it fell with disinterest. As she slid down back down the tree, she didn’t notice James grab the bird in his hand and make links in his mind. When she finally looked at him properly, he looked… more desperate than ever.

“It’s okay, James, alright?” She reassured, putting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing them. She hoped to be as reassuring as she could. She understood being scared out of her fucking mind for your siblings, she understood it too well. “It’s just a jabberjay. A dirty fucking trick that was pulled on us. It’s not Tamara, okay? It’s not your sister.”

“Yeah, no, it wasn’t her, but… fuck.” James dropped to the ground and kicked it away from him as far away as he could. He was angry and scared, that much she could understand. She took a step back as he shook. “It was her voice. Jabberjays imitate voices perfectly, but to do that, they have to have heard them, Catherine! Someone made them scream like that!”

“You don’t… you don’t fucking think-” Her face paled as horror made her breath quicken.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I fucking think.”

Her mind was trying to keep up with that information. She imagined her little brother, her dearest little brother, stuck in a completely white room. She imagined him strapped to a table as total strangers did what they could to get those horrible screams out of him if only to torture her for a little longer in the arena. She wondered if he was even still alive from this. She slid to the ground slowly, and she couldn’t even hear James. No, what she heard was a third bird. A third bird, that screamed bloody murder. It was Gabe’s voice. Why was he screaming? Had they taken him while she and Lukas were in here, unable to stop them from taking him and torturing him to death?

“It’s not him,” James said, holding her arms tightly. She still fought to get up and go see the bird, shoot it down herself to stop hearing the god damn screams, and maybe to see… if it was actually him this time around. After all, he had never wished to go back into the arena. It wouldn’t surprise her if he screamed exactly like that if he were in here, when he was safe moments before. James pretty much started dragging her away from the sound, and towards the beach. “It’s not him, Catherine! Let’s get the fuck away from here, okay?!”

Her mind was still reeling, as she gave up and accepted being dragged away by James. What had they even done to get those screams out of him? Had they taken his other eye? Had they opened the scar he had gained in the arena? Had they simulated the deaths of everyone he cared about? She didn’t know, and she was terrified out of her fucking mind. She hated this. She hated this whole concept of various events at every fucking hour. This must be what happened at four o’clock.

When they made their way to the edge of the forest, Catherine watched with a mix of light anger, sadness, and relief as Lukas and Amy stood there. Anger, because after all, why hadn’t they come in to stop them, to come to get them away? Lukas knew how important her little brother was to her. He knew. And then sadness, because surely he had heard Gabe’s screams. He must be thinking the same fucking she was. And finally, relief, because well… it meant she could get out of this and hug one of her best friends in the hopes of anchoring herself back to reality.

Though, why were they waving their hands at them, and moving their lips in silence?

She discovered that when she hit the wall shoulder first and pretty much bounced back. She fell to the ground with a groan, knowing she was lucky that her shoulder had pretty much taken most of the hit. James, however, hadn’t been so lucky as he had hit the wall headfirst, causing his nose to bleed like a fucking fountain. It wasn’t pretty to see. So, that was why they hadn’t been able to do anything, as she watched Lukas, Amy, and even Jessica shake their heads sadly. An invisible wall was blocking access to the beach. Though, thankfully, it wasn’t electrocuted. Less thankfully, it meant they were trapped here until the end of the hour.

Her fear spiked dramatically when the birds slowly began flying back in. They perched themselves on the branches, looking down at them. They tilted their heads side to side as they stared at the two of them as if they were silently laughing at their situation and at the pain they would bring. So much pain as they began to scream. James was the first one to give up. He curled up on the floor, hands on his ears in the hopes of stopping the horrible screeching. 

Cath, in her case, tried holding on. Truly, she did, but the concert of calls for help eventually got too much. She tried shooting some of them, but for each one that went down, another one appeared. So, she gave up. She covered her ears with her hands and rocked herself back and forth as the screams got louder and louder and louder. 

She could hear her little brother, she could hear her father. Then Gabe joined in, along with Cindy. Soon after that, as if ending the heartbreaking melody, Reyna’s family joined in. Faith and Violet screamed, and at someplace in there, Reyna did too. Had the Capitol made her scream when they had gotten her in that hovercraft, before killing her again? Had they done that? Had they took everyone they knew she loved and made them suffer just so they could have the last laugh?

“Cath, Cath it’s over,” Jessica had been the one to shake her out of it, trying to hug her properly through her rocking. There were tears rolling down her face, tears she hadn’t even noticed she had started shedding. She supposed it made sense. She was in so much pain. So much of it.

“You didn’t hear the voices.” Her voice cracked. Her throat hurt so much. She wondered if she had started screaming at some point for it to hurt this much. “You didn’t hear them. It hurt. It hurt so much.”

“I heard your little brother’s, at the beginning,” Jessica whispered but continued hugging her. So, that meant she hadn’t heard all the others. She wondered how she saw her now, that she had broken down over such a thing. She wondered if it would change her view of her. But right now… she didn’t care. She didn’t have to put up the wall of strength she had for so long. She hugged Jessica tight, and she immediately started crying. Heavy sobs that made her body shake, her glass heart completely shattered in her chest.

She hated this. She wanted to go back home so badly.

But she knew it wouldn’t be the case anytime soon.


	18. Part Eighteen

“Cath? Cath, can you look at me?” Jess whispered after a little while when she finally noticed how Cath had calmed down a little. Her hands were definitely still shaking, so badly as fear and panic muddled her brain. She was scared out of her fucking mind for her family and friends, she was terrified that they were dead because she was back in the arena. She was terrified that their deaths were her fault, like all the others over the past year. The strawberry blonde girl was being a fucking saint right now from the patience she was showing. She could have thrown her in the sand a long time ago to go see James, Amy, and Lukas. Because after all, Lukas was busy trying to calm James down. She didn’t blame him. They were all worried about different people. “Can you tell me how many people are left in the arena right now? Think you can do that?”

“I… don’t know,” She whispered, her voice still hoarse. It hurt so much. She probably had indeed screamed along with the jabberjays, subconsciously hoping to drown them out. Not her smartest idea, was it? Her hands gripped at Jessica’s shirt, trying to keep them from spasming and hitting one of them by accident. “Eight? Give or take?”

“That’s right. What do they do when we’re eight left?” Jessica asked again, resting her chin on top of Catherine’s braided curls. Well, they weren’t as braided anymore and were back to their curly short mess, but there were remnants of it. When she felt Cath shake her head ‘no’, pretty much telling her she didn’t know or didn’t remember, she just sighed but rubbed her thumb on the shorter girl’s arm. “They go to our Districts. They interview family members. They can’t do that if they’re dead, yeah?”

“Right.”

“That’s why I’m saying they’re alive.” Jess continued, trying to whisper as many reassurances as she could. She wondered how the Capitol was taking this. Either they were screaming bloody murder that their cursed lovers didn’t look in love anymore, or they were melting at the blooming… friendship… between her and Jessica. She didn’t care anyway. Despite being in the middle of this shithole, she felt just a little bit safer. “I’m sure Marcus will be the first one they shove the mic under, after this whole thing, yeah?”

“You’re sure?” She asked, voice wavering again. She was pathetic, wasn’t she? Asking for reassurance when she knew she was being told the truth by the smartest of their lot. Angelo was dead, now, and that pretty much promoted Jessica to the voice of reason. She wanted to cry again, as she thought of Angelo. He didn’t ask to be killed like that, but some part of her was grateful that he hadn’t fallen to her hand. He hadn’t died because of her. God, would she need to kill Jessica? The woman she was seriously considering dying for more and more every day, along with her best friend? 

“I’m sure. We learned that technique in school, in District Three, you know,” Jess spoke a little louder, as she looked up and at James and Lukas, who were now both staring at them. The freckled girl was smiling, sadness dripping from it, but that didn’t seem to bother them too much. “Learn how to manipulate voices and such things. It’s not too hard.”

“Yeah yeah, Volts right,” Amy sniffed a little, voice cold and uncaring. She didn’t care that Cath could pretty much feel the flinch the nickname caused Jessica, she didn’t care that it pretty much kindled a small flame of anger in the archer’s heart. Though, it was odd that the next parts sounded like reassurance from Amy. “Panem adores your little brother. If they were to kill him, they’d end up with a fucking rebellion on their arms.”

She had begun screaming at the top of her lungs at the air after that, screaming at them that obviously, it wasn’t what the Capitol fucking wanted. Cath still laughed a little at that, surprised making her shoulders shake. God. She knew that they would cut this from the show after that, but she didn’t care. She supposed she was seeing Amy a little differently, now. She was seeing all of them a little differently. They were becoming friends. Reluctant friends, in some cases, but friends nonetheless.

Amy had gone get water after that, with the excuse that no one she loved was waiting for her back home. 

She had continued hugging Jessica for as long as she could. But she knew that it was only a matter of time before the Capitol noticed something was up, and they screamed for their heads. So, when she moved from the strawberry blonde girl with a smile, she hoped it was enough to convey her gratefulness. She hoped it was enough to convey how much she had appreciated it. She would have kissed her for it, truly, if she could have. But she knew she couldn’t. Not in the arena, anyway. They updated the map, and soon after the hymn, they counted the new bread they received and waited for the wave to crash before setting up camp for the night.

Then came the time to choose who kept guard. Amy was definitely turned down when she proposed to take guard, with many grumbles, but Cath seriously had no fucking clue how the girl was even still standing. She must have slept one hour since the beginning of the Games, or anyway from what she had noticed. It still didn’t stop her from crashing, though, once she firmly stated she would take guard since she was the most rested. Lukas stared at her for a little while before deciding on joining her for it. She supposed it would give them a little bit to talk.

“So, how did the little Jessica Reassurance session go?” Lukas had teased the moment he knew all of them were alseep. James’ was the most obvious, if the way he kept muttering his sister’s name in worry in his sleep meant anything. Lukas was obviously worried for him if the few glances he shot the man from time to time meant anything. But even in this arena, they had to keep up the act the best they could. “You two are _such good pals.”_

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” She sighed and rolled her eyes. She brought her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them as she stared at the waters. Her bow and arrows were next to her. As much as she wanted the weight in her hands right now, it would do nothing. Her hands were still shaking too much and if she tried shooting anything at all, it would just miss completely. She knew it. “You did the same with James. Such good friends, uh?”

“Yep. Very good friends.” He nodded and obviously tried to keep his voice light, though by the end of that, it dipped down a little. From disappointment or guilt, she didn’t know. The disappointment of what though, she had no clue either. He eventually looked towards the waters himself, with a sigh. “Sorry for not going to you first.”

“It’s fine.” And it was true. She was fine with it. She knew she would have broken down more had it been Lukas who had come to her, anyway. She would have felt guilt for not keeping up the strong façade, despite the shit that had been thrown at her. God, she just knew that just like that she had lowered her chances at sponsors, too. She had cried like a baby, she knew there were so many people who disliked that. Oh well. It’s not like… she needed them anyway. “...God, Lukas, how the hell are we gonna kill them?”

“We don’t gotta,” Lukas tried slowly, and he cringed at the next words that would leave his mouth. He was aware of how awful it sounded, but he supposed that it had to be said. “We can stay. There’s still Brutus and Enobaria. Chaff, too. They might… they might end up killed by them.”

“I know. I know. I just… fuck.” Cath gripped at her hair with her shaking hands, pulling at it a little as her frustration grew. It wasn’t a matter that she didn’t want to kill them herself, it was a matter that they would need to die at all. She didn’t want Jess to die now. She couldn’t die. Cath would shatter in the middle of this fucking arena, and she just knew that she wouldn’t be able to protect Lukas because of it. “I don’t _want_ them to die. Some of them especially.”

“I know,” Lukas muttered, his gaze looking back at the group, though she knew he was looking at one in particular. He didn’t want James to die. She didn’t want Jess to die. Amy, too, on some weird fucking level. Maybe because she had grown reluctantly attached despite the nickname she kept calling Jess, which made her anger flare. She was literally the definition of the person you got attached to simply because they stuck around for too long and if they were gone… it would be weird. “Me too.”

They stayed silent after that. After all, what could they say? They had people they didn’t want to see die, friends, they wanted to keep safe for as long as possible but who they knew would have to die eventually if one of them were to go back home. Granted, Cath knew she wouldn’t be going back home. But Lukas didn’t know that. Or if he knew, he didn’t mention it. She didn’t know. She threw rocks in the water a few times, watching them skip, though that quickly stopped when the lightning hit the tree in the distance, causing James to wake up with a start.

“I can’t… I can’t sleep. I’m gonna take guard from one of you.” James said simply and didn’t even wait to ask who as he sat in the sand harshly. He was sweating, and his eyes were wide with fear. Cath looked at Lukas, who was simply staring at the man next to him in worry, and with a sigh, she stood up and squeezed the blond’s shoulder.

“Talk to him,” She whispered and moved to go to sleep. She laid down near Jess, the spot that had been reserved for her. Lukas would be supposed to be on her left, and she knew that he would most likely be there later in the night. She might notice it if her body refused to put her to sleep from whatever had happened that day. Some part of her wished that she would stay awake.

But it hadn’t been the case.

When morning came, it had been spent slowly. She was aware that everyone by now was aware their time was counted. Their alliance couldn’t last this long, after all. The moment another one died, maybe even two, this thing would be shattered to bits and they would need to part ways. But no one mentioned it. Cath went in the water to remove the weird paste thing with Lukas, and she had whistled over at James so that he joined them with the joking excuse she knew how to make him look pretty again and not like he was a walking zombie.

Then Jessica called them over. She had her metal thread again in her hands. She supposed that all those hours of playing with it finally helped her come up with a plan.

“So, we know we got to get rid of Brutus and Enobaria,” Her voice was almost cold as she started talking. The sweet girl Cath knew was gone. This was a teacher, a woman who knew her intelligence could be a weapon and would be used as so. She was trying to detach herself from emotions, and Cath supposed she understood on some levels. “I doubt they’ll attack up upfront, especially considering they’re a lot less than us.”

“Do you think they understand how the clock works?” Cath asked, watching Jessica with curiosity. Her head was tilted a little to the side, as she thought.

“If it’s not the case already, it wouldn’t surprise me if they did soon. Though maybe not as precisely as us. Maybe they’d have understood that some attacks happen in certain zones and that they tend to loop.” Jess continued. She was biting on her lip a little as she thought, and she was frowning as if analyzing the possibilities. “They most likely noticed our last fight was stopped from the Judges and are wondering what happened. That probably helped them figure out the clock thing. So, our best bet is probably putting up a trap.”

“Hold on, let me get Amy up,” James groaned as he got up. He looked… a little bitter since she went to sleep last night. She didn’t know what he and Lukas talked about, but it seemed to have helped him. She just hoped they hadn’t been flirting, because that would definitely put them in deeper shit than they already were in. “She’d be fucking furious if we learned we left her out of this.”

“Oh no, whatever shall we do if she was angry with us!” Cath repeated, her voice deadpan and sarcastic. She smirked at the glare she got from James and at the hidden snickering she gained from Lukas.

Jessica scooted back a little once Amy joined them. She began drawing on the sand a rough circle, that she then divided into twelve parts, for each zones of the arena they had discovered so far. It was definitely not as good as Lukas’s own drawing, but it was good enough.

“If you were Brutus and Enobaria, where would you feel most safe?” She asked after that, looking them over carefully.

“...Where we are now?” Lukas tried, frowning. “It’s not as dangerous as the other spots.”

“So why aren’t they on the beach?”

“Because of us,” Amy grumbled out. She was obviously already bored of this, though she kept listening.

“Exactly. Because we’re taking the space.” The strawberry blonde girl nodded, before continuing. “So where would you go instead?”

“At the border of the forest, probably,” Cath was the one to answer, rubbing at her eyes. “It would be easier to escape, and it would be easier to keep an eye on us.”

“And it would be easier to eat, too,” James answered, pointing at her, showing that he was adding onto her answer. He looked away from her after that and towards Jessica, frowning as he thought. “The jungle is filled with weird fucking things. But by watching us you can figure out easily that the seafood is safe to eat.”

“Exactly. That’s why I propose we act at twelve.” Jessica nodded, smiling a little. Her voice wasn’t as cold, though it definitely still was a little. “What happens at twelve and at midnight?”

“Thunder hits the tree, right?”

“Right. So the plan would be that between twelve and midnight, we place my thread around that tree and we take it all the way to the seawater, which, obviously, conducts electricity well.” Jessica began explaining. “When the lightning will strike, it will go through the thread and will go through the water and the still wet sand from the wave at ten. Whoever is near those places at that time will end up, well… fried.”

They stayed silent after that, staring at Jess. Cath especially. One, because god damn that woman was smart. Sure, she knew that, but this was yet another proof of it. Second, because, well… they had a plan. 

And that plan would bring them a little closer to the end of the Games.


	19. Part Nineteen

There were days she wondered if all of this was worth it.

There were days she wondered if volunteering herself on that Reaping was worth it. There were days where the pain was so intense that she had trouble getting out of bed no matter how many words of encouragement she gave to herself, no matter how many walls she put up. There were days where she contemplated the bottle, tempted to fall into the same thing Gabe had. Those days were the hardest, and as the Games had neared, she had them more and more often. The determination with which she had walked on stage the day of the Reaping had been one she had talked herself into because despite knowing she was ready to die for Lukas, some part of her completely refused to return in that arena.

She didn’t think she would have one of those in the middle of the arena, where she fought for her life or death. She didn’t think that hunting for food for the last feast would be so hard, especially since she knew what was coming. She didn’t think that laughing with her friends would be so hard, she didn’t think that holding the pearl given to her by Lukas would hurt so much. The small thing felt like it was burning her fingers as she rolled it around. She knew that it would most likely be brought back with her body, she knew that someone would take it, and she hated it. Not because it was something of her’s now, no, she hated that someone would own something she had been given and forever be remembered of her death because of it. She didn’t want her friends and family to grieve her. She wanted them to move on.

Each step after the hymn, each step taken felt like hell on earth as they slowly made their way towards the tree. She walked first because of her excuse that she could hear the wall, and she almost regretted using that excuse. She just wanted to stay behind, she just wanted to stay in the back and refuse to move. She didn’t want to fight them, and as time slowly dripped by, the feeling only got more and more intense. Though, she knew she didn’t have a choice in this. It was the Hunger Games. One of them won, the rest died. One won, and brought back home so much hurt and self-hate that you pretty much died yourself in the arena. It was the worst fucking thing, and she couldn’t believe they imposed it on them all again.

She watched Jessica work with James to put the thread around the tree, tying it in a special pattern that most likely did… something. Though what it was, she didn’t know. She knew little to nothing about electricity, it was Jessica’s specialty. It was the thing that had caused her to win, it was the thing that she relied on for this plan. She knew more about this whole thing than she ever would. So, the only thing she did was watch. She watched as the trap was set into place little by little, she watched as the axe of the executor slowly raised over all their heads slowly but surely. After this, it would be hunting time. After this, they would have to start fighting. She didn’t know if she could do it, and she hated it.

They finished with the trunk when the wave crashed. It was then that Jessica revealed the rest of the plan to them. Since she and Amy were the fastest to move between the trees, Cath would be stuck running with her to unload the thread behind them so that it leads all the way to the water. They would need to throw it in the water before midnight and make sure it sunk before running back to the jungle for cover. If they left right now without losing a minute, they should be able to make it in time.

“Join us at the tree in the zone between one and two,” Jessica said simply, before handing Cath the thread. Her hand stayed on top of it probably a little longer than she should have, a silent request for her to be careful before she took a step back and crossed her arms. “If you two are late, meet us in the zone after that one. Don’t try to go back to the beach, though. Not before I’ve seen the state of it.”

“Got it. See you at midnight,” She said with a slight nod, a fake smile pulling at her lips before she turned to look at Amy, who looked bored out of her fucking mind, standing there. She obviously was not looking forward to running in the woods with her, and honestly, the feeling was slightly mutual. She had gotten used to Amy, but most of her comments still irritated the shit out of her. “Ready?”

“Don’t really have much of a damn choice, do I?” She sighed and rolled her eyes, before taking the thread out of Catherine’s hands with little to no care. Her hair was now in a low ponytail at the base of her neck for this. It was shorter than it had been before the beginning of the Games. Amy had appeared in the arena with now shoulder-length hair when it had easily been at her mid-back before. “Cover me, I’ll be the one rolling it. We’ll switch later on.”

The walk was tense. Maybe because Cath knew Amy didn’t like her, or maybe it was just because of the situation that would follow. They had told themselves they would have a meetup spot, but who the fuck knew what would happen there. Would a fight break out, or would they stubbornly keep the alliance for as long as possible? Amy was probably looking forward to breaking that damn alliance if the way she kept talking to her meant anything. Cath just hoped she wouldn’t end up with an axe in the forehead. A slit throat would be a quicker and less painful way of going out than one of Amy’s weapons stuck in her head.

“Let’s speed it up a little,” Amy pointed out once the bugs started chattering a little louder, indicating that eleven was coming around. They still had no fucking clue what the bugs did, other than being ominous so far. They stayed away from them, and perhaps it was better this way. Cath did not particularly want to find out what the fuck was up with them. “I’d rather be as far away from the water as possible once the lightning starts. You know. Just in case Volts was wrong in her calculations.”

“Don’t call her Volts,” She sighed out, before stretching her hand out towards Amy. She knew that no matter how many fucking times she told the brunette, it wouldn’t stop her from continuing to call Jessica that. “Give me the thread. I’ll continue from there.”

“Take it.” Amy went to hand her the small cylinder, and barely had the thing been touching both their hands, that a vibration went through it.

Suddenly, the thin golden thread snapped towards them and tied themselves around their wrists before twisting themselves around their feet. They stayed like that for a second before Cath’s head snapped up to stare at Amy, who stared right back. Nothing needed to be said. It was obvious that someone had gone and cut the stupid thread behind them, and they would be on them under a matter of seconds.

Cath was about to reach for an arrow in her quiver, her heart already beating faster at the idea of a fight, right now, in the middle of their fucking plan, but that was quickly ruined for her when she was hit on the side of the head by the cylinder. Blinding pain went through her, and when she was finally able to think past it, she found herself pinned on the ground, just like with Clove. Though the difference, this time around, was that she couldn’t see. Everything was too blurry, her head was spinning, and it only made her panic even more. Amy was on top of her chest, her knees pinning her shoulders, and she had trouble breathing because of it.

A sharp pain went through her arm, and she tried desperately moving out by shaking herself out of it, but she was still too weak from being pretty much knocked out for a moment by the cylinder. Amy planted the tip of her knife in the flesh of Cath’s arm and spun it around and around, and after a horrible feeling of something before removed, a warm liquid started dripping down her forearm and into the palm of her hand. The brunette then pinned her arm on the ground and pretty much smeared _so much blood_ on the archer’s face. Why was she doing this? Why was there _so much blood?_

“Stay calm!” Amy hissed, before getting up from her and pretty much sprinting away.

Cath’s head was spinning. Why did she need to stay calm? Her arm hurt so much. Her head hurt. She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep, maybe wake up later safe and sound. In her bed in her home, her father and brother sleeping soundly, safe. Cindy maybe already up, and pounding at her door calling for her to wake up. But she knew she couldn’t. If she closed her eyes, there was a chance she wouldn’t wake up. Lukas still needed her. Jessica still needed her. So, she fought her heavy eyes, and she tried not to cry through the feeling of drying blood on her face.

“She’s done for,” Brutus said at the sight of her, before soon moving on. “Come on, Enobaria!”

When the steps were gone into the night, Cath’s breath quickened a little. Yes, she supposed she was done for. Because Amy had attacked her, fucking up her arm so much that she knew that there would probably no way of healing it and keeping her alive for long. She would die because Amy had gone for her. Maybe James was part of the plan, too. The alliance was broken, and truly, there was no surprise in that. She didn’t know which side Jessica was on, but one thing was clear. She and Lukas weren’t predators anymore. They had become prey. 

Lukas.

God, had James become closer to him so that the blond would trust him more easily? Had James broken his trust like that? Had he pretended to be their friend all along? Some part of her hoped not, though she knew it was probably the case. Either way, she needed to get back to him. Make sure Lukas was still alive and safe. 

She slowly raised herself, her injured arm immediately going to grip on the nearest tree to try and give her something to lay on as she slowly got back up. That was good she did so, too, because everything around her was spinning rounds. It was a wonder she was even still up from how hard everything was moving around her. God, she had truly hit her head hard, uh? That much was obvious as she bent over and pretty much threw up that day’s feast. Great. She was even more disgusting now.

When she lifted her wounded arm, blood pretty much hit her right in the face, making everything turn even more. Okay. She needed to do something about that. She grabbed some moss and a few plants she could easily tie, she did a cheap bandage on her arm that she tied as hard as she could. Then she touched the bump on her head and winced a little. Yeah, that wasn’t pretty. She still armed her bow and quickly begun her way back, though. God, she hoped Lukas was still alive.

Soon enough, James ran towards her, and she quickly ducked out the way and hid behind some plants, her breathing fast from the panic. God, that man was fucking fast. He quickly found the place where she was moments before, still smeared in blood, and he quickly looked around after that, before screaming their names at the top of his lungs. Cath stayed hidden until he continued after Amy and the Careers, before continuing her way up to the tree. She needed to get to Lukas. And Jessica, if she was even on their side anymore.

A canon rang.

She began running.

She tripped on the thread at some point but kept running. She kept running and running, until she got to the tree, still wrapped in gold. She was heaving, her head still hurting so badly as she scanned around her.

“Lukas?” She whispered harshly, frowning, and her hands tightening on her bow. “Jess?”

There was a light whining, and Cath’s whipped around. A figure was laying on the ground, and her breath caught in her chest when she saw who it was.

“Jess!” She screamed and crouched next to the girl. Panic was holding her heart in its hand, and squeezing it so tightly as it laughed at her misery. She wanted to cry as she looked the freckled girl over, though there was indeed some relief when she noticed that the only major wound was on her arm. She wrapped it in moss, but soon after that, shook the strawberry blonde girl. “Jess! Jess, what the fuck happened? Jessica!”

The strawberry blonde girl only whined and tried pushing her away, and only then did she noticed the knife in her hand, wrapped in the golden thread. She tugged on it a little, and she did notice how it was still tied to the tree, too. What the fuck had been her plan? They were near the invisible electrified wall, so was this a plan B? Send the electricity into it in case something went wrong? But what could it even have done? Do nothing, fry them all? She supposed that the wall was composed of energy, too. The one in the Training Center was see-through. This one reflected the jungle. But outside of it, there was the real world.

Then Lukas started screaming her name. She screamed for him right back, though there were other sounds with him. She thought she hallucinated it, because of her fucking spinning head and the loss of blood that she knew would soon be taking her out, but as James and Enobaria burst out from the forest and near the thunder tree, that fact was proven wrong. 

Lukas screamed again, but this time she stayed quiet. Two canons rang.

Once the thunder struck, James and Enobaria would be taken out. After that, there would be only one person left to die. One person and Lukas could go home.

One more person. But… Gabe had told her something, hadn’t he? Remember who the enemy was.

The enemy wasn’t Enobaria. Or any of them, really. That much she knew, as she took the thread and tied it to her arrow. She raised herself on her shaky legs and aimed it at the spot in the wall that she knew would the weakest. The weak point in the armor, something Angelo had shown her. 

When she released her arrow and watched it fly, she felt her hair rise on her neck as the thunder struck, and she watched in wonder as a bright white light traveled through the string.

Once it hit the wall, everything shattered.

And her world went dark.


	20. Part Twenty

Why was she alive?

She could still feel pain. She could feel it deep in her bones, she could feel the ache that came with it. She could feel her heart pound in her chest, desperately trying to hold on. She could feel her eyes watering from everything, she could feel her usual anger making her shake.

 _Why was she alive?_

She could see the hovercraft appear. Didn’t they only come to get those who were dead? Was she stuck in a state between life and death, and they came to finish her off themselves? It would make sense. She had fucked them over so many times over the past year, it wouldn’t surprise her if Snow himself was on that damn thing holding a poisoned knife in his hand, waiting to stab her and watch the life drain from her eyes. She would be doing the same. Maybe. Or something similar.

She watched as the claw slowly picked her up from the floor, and some part of her did want to fight. Some part of her did want to go down fighting, but the other? The other wanted this to be over. The other part of her was so tired. That part of her was the one that won, the one that made her remain limp as she was brought into the hovercraft. The High Judge, Michael Ambrose, was the one waiting for her, and truly, there was no surprise there, too. She supposed she was the one that ruined his Games, she supposed she was the one that his anger would go out on.

His hand went to close her eyes, and she didn’t even fight him. She would rather not see in what way she would die.

When she passed out, it was thinking she would not wake up again.

And once again, she was wrong. She was so, so wrong.

She just wanted rest.

She woke up on a table, and she could feel so many things plugged in her arm. Like back when she won her first Games. Though she had yet to see. She felt stuck underwater, not able to hear anything other than her breathing and the faint sounds of machines. Everything was so heavy. So, so heavy. She reached for the things plugged in her arms and ripped them off. She just wanted to sleep. For a little while, at least. If she slipped away as she did so, then no one could blame her, could they? At least, that’s what she thought to herself as an alarm rang and she passed out again.

The second time she did wake up, she wondered what it would fucking take for them to let her slip. Her arms were tied to the table now, the tubes were back in her arm, and the sadness was gone. It was just pure anger. She just wanted to go. She wanted to go. _Please, please let her go._ She looked around the room, and she noticed all the other beds and all the other sounds that she now could hear. Gone was feeling like she was stuck underwater. She lifted her head slowly, and in front of her, there was Jessica. Jessica, who was tied to so many machines. They couldn’t make her suffer too. They couldn’t. Cath could deal with herself living again and again and again, but at least… at least they could have let Jess go. They were all so tired, surely they could have done that? But they didn’t. She passed out again when she hit her head on the table.

When she woke up for a third and last time, she was no longer tied to anything. No arms tied to the table, no tubes in her arm. Though her arm was indeed bandaged thickly. She breathed hard as she lifted herself up on her shaking hands, still obviously affected by the poison fog. She wondered where all the others were, as she looked around the empty room. Jess was still there, still tied to so many machines, and she was the first one she went to. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Cath whispered as she moved the strawberry blonde’s hair away from her face, and with a choked sob, she planted a soft kiss on her forehead. She didn’t care if the Capitol saw anymore. She didn’t care. She would die anyway. She sniffled and moved back, grabbing a syringe from the plate near her bed. “I’ll come back for you later, I swear.”

She started walking, and soon enough, she reached one door. It was slightly open, and there were clearly people behind it, if what she heard meant anything.

_Cut communications with Seven, Ten, and Twelve. Eleven took control of their transports again._

What the fuck?

Then James asked something. Asking if he could get into Four. Him being denied.

Then she heard Gabe’s voice. One she recognized, and one she trusted. What the hell was he doing here?

She could barely wrap her mind around what was happening when she entered that damn room. Though, she supposed she should have figured that different things were happening when she was stuck in that fucking arena. She just wished she would have been told. She wished she had been told that there were things in action, she wished she would have been told of their damn plan of getting them out of the arena. When they gave her the reason why, when she asked where was Lukas...

...She could barely remember herself starting to scream. 

So much anger, so much pain.

So much anger, so much pain.

_So much of it._

It was almost a relief when she was brought under again, it was almost a fucking relief that she could slip away into sleep without wondering what the fuck the Capitol was doing to one of her best friends. Though that relief didn’t last long. It never did. Because when she woke up, she could see someone she knew next to her. Little Violet, burned to the face. What had happened to her?

She had burned.

Along with her home.


End file.
